obsidity

Let me jsut try to describe total incoherency to you. I mean I am still writing so I ....can't finish this sentence even. What was I saying? There was a set uf stairs outside hte window. I am sur ethat was not what wa it was.

Well, I decided to leave that up because it is pretty funny. I have been trying to obliterate any sense of reality for the past couple of days because of recent shitty events, even though I know it's not the best coping mechanism in the world and that there will be a point when I am aware of reality again and will probably feel worse. but whatever. I have no idea what I was trying to say, a few days without much sleep and a titrating balancing act, and very little food. this was the end result. I gotta chuckle. In a sort of sad way. Course now I am ready to go again! But I have to deal. Shit I hate dealing!