obliviousfocus

When is the last time you sat down and just watched the sun come up in the morning. Other than when driving to work in a hurry to meet the rush. When is the last time you sat down and just listened. I mean to everything. If you do you will see that sounds are constantly going on about you that you filter out all the time. When is the last time you just randomly did something nice for someone ? When is the last time you said screw it and drove nowhere simply because you could? Did all that this weekend. It was fun. I sometimes forget how much beauty there really is because I'm too trapped up inside myself and my little world. I guess my name should be oblivious instead . Just a thought.

Speaking of thoughts. I want to talk about coping skills. People lack coping skills in things. This is not to say we're all frightened idiots. No. I just see that we tend to overdevelop coping skills in some areas and underdevelop in others. Its amazing to sit and talk with someone over the age of 75 and have them talk about going to the same job for 40-50 years. Thats unfathomable to me. They just did it though. Most people can't hold a job more than a year these days haha. But nowadays people don't do that sort of thing.

How about human interaction. We're horrible these days. It is easier many times to sit in front of a computer screen than to do face to face interaction. People tend to be unable to cope with spatial and tactile closeness. I guess there is a vulernability there. Or it could be that whole fucking with their emotions things. We've got so many goddamn drugs to put us in various states who needs to cope anymore right ? Feeling weird pop a pill and it will make everything all right. This not to say drugs don't help. Some do. But we prescribe them for just about anything these days and they lose their effectiveness. I guess there is no cure.

I'll use me for example. I'm about as neurotic as they come. Paranoid and really untrusting. I build my walls due to past experiences and refuse to assimilate anything i've learned in order to grow forward as a human. I know its not healthy. I know the past doesn't define us. I just really don't like the idea of being fucked with. But who does. So I keep people at bay and won't let them in. This does wonders for personal growth lemme tell ya.

Why am I babbling? Dunno. Just am. I guess its cause I like a girl and that scares me. She seems nice. A bit insane but nice. I purposly keep her at bay so I don't have to deal with anything for that. I guess in my heart of hearts I would like to give it a shot (this is just my end who knows what she thinks well i kinda do but i'm being dramatic here damnit). I've had so long in my head of how things are supposed to be that anything that isn't that is probably not going to work(yeah i know realllllllllll logical). I guess there are no promises in life though. The only thing you can do is give it a shot and see what happens. Stop placing emphasis on certain things and just see what the situation itself presents. Anything less wouldn't be living. Who knows maybe thing will work out. Can't predict the future. Not that I would want to, its so dreadfully boring.

P.S. I am working on those poems so they will be done shortly.