Well it has been an interesting time. My computer blew up. I am currently working on an old ibook. It allows me access to the internet. I haven't really been on as much as I used to be though. I would have to say I have enjoyed myself though. I have gotten out more and done a lot more. It is kind of nice. I started getting into my house repairs more. I am going to set up my bedroom next weekend in the bedroom finally hahah. It has taken a while to get it going.
On to pressing matters. I was told Thursday by a Dr. that I had to give up drinking, smoking, and caffiene. Why? Cause I was killing myself. It has taken its toll on my body. My joints are breaking down and my stomach is a mess. If i quit and get the toxins out of my body then we can see what happens from there. I don't know how but I guess that I need to do that. I already gave up drinking(which sucks btw cause all my friends hang out in bars and I sat and drank cokes). Monday is the start of no smoking and no caffiene. I bought juices and crap to prevent myself from going down that road. I hope I can pull this off. I don't like the idea of giving up my vices but it is either that or death. I don't think I like that death concept very much and I know she doesn't either. So in the interest of my health and not breaking her heart I am going to give this a try. I pray i can succeed.
Entertainment news: I went to several bluegrass and folk music concerts this weekend. I hopped from bar to bar listening to it. It lightened my soul. I didn't realize how much I was missing this kind of stuff. I have long loved punk music, metal, etc but I think trully my heart belongs in blue grass and folk music. It is where I feel at home. I like the people in it and the atmosphere. It is just something joyous. This perplexes me though. I am on a lot of sites that are more punk/goth oriented. It makes me feel like I really shouldn't be on them. It sounds dorky but I wonder how much I have in common with people when I get in these moods.
I also saw hong kong hustle this weekend. If you haven't seen it. GO GO GO. It was freaking amazing. It was hilarious and also sweet at the same time. It was worth the money I paid. I bought A Tale of Two sisters. It really creeped me out. I was amazed at the colors and the story line. It keeps you guessing to the plot many times. I figured out part of it, but I was way off on many other facets of it. I recommend it highly.
This is one of the songs I listened to this weekend. It made me want to go back to church. I know sue me. I don't care.
JUST A ROSE WILL DO
When time shall come for my leaving
When I bid you adieu
Don't spend your money for flowers
Just a rose will do.
CHORUS
I'll go to a beautiful garden
At last when life's work is through.
Don't spend your money for flowers
Just a rose will do.
2.
I'll need no organization
To make a bid to-do,
I'll need no fine decorations,
Just a rose will do.
3.
Just have an old-fashioned preacher
To preach a sermon or two
Don't spend your money for flowers
Just a rose will do.
Random Thoughts: I got on random thoughts while listening to the cds of the artists I bought this weekend. I met a guy that offered to teach me guitar. I think I want to take that up and go with it. Maybe if I could add music to what I write it would make more sense to me. Some times I just write and I read and the flow just doesn't get me. If I try and sing it, it seems to make more sense. I don't know. But my malaise of the soul seems to harbor around this. I have so much to say and no way to express it. It angers me in ways some times. I just wish there was a way to just spit it out but there isn't. This brings me down. I read my crap and think dear god it sucks. People tell me it doesn't but I think they are being nice to me. I never know. Brutal honesty would be good I think.
I guess this is all I have to say right now besides a few poems. One is for her because I miss her terribly. The other is just to write.
For Lucia
I walked to the creek by the pale moonlight
Fireflies guided my way
They took me to your presence
This warm night of May
The hollows played our tune
Animals in unison
Songs of our love too pure for human ears
The tale of our meeting
The silence of leaving
Our hearts kept far away
Their words slip into fog
On the shore sit and wait
Willow Wisp
Sylvan spirits glow for me
Spin your colors fancy
Dance in the dew covered grass
Bring me the whispers of sweet memorys
I long for the years of my joy
Your folly is not in my favor
Twist and bend my mind to your will
Let me forget what I'm feeling
Take away this regret
Lead me down the path of the lost
Mesmerize me in heat of your light
I've no time for the future.
On to pressing matters. I was told Thursday by a Dr. that I had to give up drinking, smoking, and caffiene. Why? Cause I was killing myself. It has taken its toll on my body. My joints are breaking down and my stomach is a mess. If i quit and get the toxins out of my body then we can see what happens from there. I don't know how but I guess that I need to do that. I already gave up drinking(which sucks btw cause all my friends hang out in bars and I sat and drank cokes). Monday is the start of no smoking and no caffiene. I bought juices and crap to prevent myself from going down that road. I hope I can pull this off. I don't like the idea of giving up my vices but it is either that or death. I don't think I like that death concept very much and I know she doesn't either. So in the interest of my health and not breaking her heart I am going to give this a try. I pray i can succeed.
Entertainment news: I went to several bluegrass and folk music concerts this weekend. I hopped from bar to bar listening to it. It lightened my soul. I didn't realize how much I was missing this kind of stuff. I have long loved punk music, metal, etc but I think trully my heart belongs in blue grass and folk music. It is where I feel at home. I like the people in it and the atmosphere. It is just something joyous. This perplexes me though. I am on a lot of sites that are more punk/goth oriented. It makes me feel like I really shouldn't be on them. It sounds dorky but I wonder how much I have in common with people when I get in these moods.
I also saw hong kong hustle this weekend. If you haven't seen it. GO GO GO. It was freaking amazing. It was hilarious and also sweet at the same time. It was worth the money I paid. I bought A Tale of Two sisters. It really creeped me out. I was amazed at the colors and the story line. It keeps you guessing to the plot many times. I figured out part of it, but I was way off on many other facets of it. I recommend it highly.
This is one of the songs I listened to this weekend. It made me want to go back to church. I know sue me. I don't care.
JUST A ROSE WILL DO
When time shall come for my leaving
When I bid you adieu
Don't spend your money for flowers
Just a rose will do.
CHORUS
I'll go to a beautiful garden
At last when life's work is through.
Don't spend your money for flowers
Just a rose will do.
2.
I'll need no organization
To make a bid to-do,
I'll need no fine decorations,
Just a rose will do.
3.
Just have an old-fashioned preacher
To preach a sermon or two
Don't spend your money for flowers
Just a rose will do.
Random Thoughts: I got on random thoughts while listening to the cds of the artists I bought this weekend. I met a guy that offered to teach me guitar. I think I want to take that up and go with it. Maybe if I could add music to what I write it would make more sense to me. Some times I just write and I read and the flow just doesn't get me. If I try and sing it, it seems to make more sense. I don't know. But my malaise of the soul seems to harbor around this. I have so much to say and no way to express it. It angers me in ways some times. I just wish there was a way to just spit it out but there isn't. This brings me down. I read my crap and think dear god it sucks. People tell me it doesn't but I think they are being nice to me. I never know. Brutal honesty would be good I think.
I guess this is all I have to say right now besides a few poems. One is for her because I miss her terribly. The other is just to write.
For Lucia
I walked to the creek by the pale moonlight
Fireflies guided my way
They took me to your presence
This warm night of May
The hollows played our tune
Animals in unison
Songs of our love too pure for human ears
The tale of our meeting
The silence of leaving
Our hearts kept far away
Their words slip into fog
On the shore sit and wait
Willow Wisp
Sylvan spirits glow for me
Spin your colors fancy
Dance in the dew covered grass
Bring me the whispers of sweet memorys
I long for the years of my joy
Your folly is not in my favor
Twist and bend my mind to your will
Let me forget what I'm feeling
Take away this regret
Lead me down the path of the lost
Mesmerize me in heat of your light
I've no time for the future.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
drinking and caffeine, sure. but the pot STAYS WITH ME.
PS. I'm coming up Fri for the pattywagon most likely.