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obi

Canada

Member Since 2005

Followers 21 Following 17

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Tuesday Sep 06, 2005

Sep 6, 2005
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I am broken hearted. The man I love held my hand, looked into my eyes, told me he loved me, lied to my face and then made love to me. He didn't even have the balls to tell me the truth when I found it out for myself. What a fucking coward. I cannot believe such terrible people exist. I can't believe I love him so much.
On a better note... It was my first day of shcool today and I had a lot of fun even though I don't know anyone in my classes and I had to stand in line for 2 hours in the bookstore. I got asked out several times and I didn't act like a complete bitchy idiot when I turned the guys down like I usually do. Not at all my type but it's still flattering, especially considering my current situation.
My psych 270 teacher was a contestant on Canadian Idol and he's a little messed up but very cool. He dresses like a hobo and he walked into class and started teaching us German as a sort of experiment. He does a lot of group work (scary) and tests us with these clickers instead of paper so we know our test scores immediately. Unfortunately I have a couple of rather large papers this semester but they look fun.
I start doing research for my thesis paper next semester and I will have my B.A. in psychology sometime in the next year. That is frightening because I am younger than most of the people in my class and I have no idea how to write a 1000 word paper and do my own experiments. I also have yet to decide on a topic so if anyone has any ideas I would like to do something on sex that isn't too X rated for school... cheating perhaps? ha. I would also like to explore some of the differences between female and male perspectives on sex but I don't know how to turn this into an experiment and get results that are not simply my personal interpretation. I find that my opinions about sex are drastically different compared to those of my female friends. This stupid paper will take up atleast a year of my life and then I think I am off to B.C. so that I can get a job in psychology and work with a teacher there who is also interested in sexual behavior. I think he is quite possibly the only one in Canada that offers a course and had interesting, open ideas about the topic.
I've been volunteering with Kids Help Phone and The Canadian Mental Health Association and working with people with serious mental illness has been a serious wakeup call. Some of these people can recognize you and be the nicest person one minute and the next they have no idea who you are and are trying to slit your throat. I'm glad I'm just on the sidelines right now because that is scary. It's insane how under funded mental help facilities are, many of the people simply cannot afford the help they need. Support them!!!
Right now I am listening to a CD a good friend of mine recorded on a simple 4 track machine. He made the drum tracks (which aren't all that great) and everything but all together it sounds amazing. I am quite jealous of his musical talents. He keeps asking me to play bass in his band... I think I just might because as much as I don't want to be the sucky female bass player that is only there to be the eye candy I would love to be part of a band that plays that kind of music and work with such a talented person that I respect so much. If anyone would like to hear Joel's CD let me know and I'll gladly burn you a copy!!!
Who am I kidding? I already have homework the first day, how am I ever going to play bass in one band, guitar in another, get good grades, work, volunteer, hopefully get a date once in a while, have a social life and do all the traveling/going to shows that I have set up for this year? Atlest it will keep my mind off of the bad and focussed on the good. Wish me luck surreal
Tonight I went to BP's and I laughed so hard my tummy hurts. Tomorrow Dane is forcing me to join the hacky sac cult in the pit in the Adhum building so I will officially be a dork. frown

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