Frankly I don't give a damn about updating on here anymore but I am bored so I figure I may as well let you people know what I've been up to lately (not that you care haha). Today was completely uneventful and I like it that way. I had a good conversation with someone I never would have guessed had similar views on life and love as I do. I have only met two other men in my life that had those views (or I though had those views) and I fell madly in love with both of them (uh-oh).
I am sitting at home for most of the night because I am trying to "be there" for someone who I don't think cares about me... I also think they don't know how much I care about them which is unfortunate. Is it stupid to care for someone who does not appreciate you and cannot show that they care for more than 24 hours? This night is usually a very special, romantic, sexy, loving, caring night for me but I figure it is going to be filled with solitary guitar playing/writing, grocery shopping, reading, sleeping, and perhaps a little crying (hurray!).
Don't get me wrong, I don't care. I'm getting quite used to the feeling. I am just confused and would like to know where I should be directing all of the love and ambition I have. You are always scared of being alone until you are forced to be and then you become stronger, you find out who you are, you do things for yourself and you begin not to mind. In some ways I think this can make people selfish because they learn to depend on themselves too much and they figure it is pointless to care about others but I don't see that happening to me easily. I have always had a wierd passion and too much trust for people, even those I don't know.
I just finished a luxurious bubble bath in which I read until I steamed myself out. I am going to pamper myself for a while, go get some stuff to attempt to make my first corset, get groceries, come home and make a fancy meal of shrimp(nicole was eating it the other day and I have been craving it), pasta (kurtis's famous alfredo recipe), and salad (wendy's style). Then I am going to play guitar/write, start my corset, dick around on here some more, I'm sure, and read in bed until I fall asleep. I hope to do all of this early enough so that I can get more than 5 hours sleep and have a good time with my friends tomorrow without falling asleep around 9.
I hope all of you are doing well. I hope everyone has a great thanksgiving and when you think about what you are thankful for that you not only realize what is important to you but SHOW IT as well because one day you could loose those things.
I am sitting at home for most of the night because I am trying to "be there" for someone who I don't think cares about me... I also think they don't know how much I care about them which is unfortunate. Is it stupid to care for someone who does not appreciate you and cannot show that they care for more than 24 hours? This night is usually a very special, romantic, sexy, loving, caring night for me but I figure it is going to be filled with solitary guitar playing/writing, grocery shopping, reading, sleeping, and perhaps a little crying (hurray!).
Don't get me wrong, I don't care. I'm getting quite used to the feeling. I am just confused and would like to know where I should be directing all of the love and ambition I have. You are always scared of being alone until you are forced to be and then you become stronger, you find out who you are, you do things for yourself and you begin not to mind. In some ways I think this can make people selfish because they learn to depend on themselves too much and they figure it is pointless to care about others but I don't see that happening to me easily. I have always had a wierd passion and too much trust for people, even those I don't know.
I just finished a luxurious bubble bath in which I read until I steamed myself out. I am going to pamper myself for a while, go get some stuff to attempt to make my first corset, get groceries, come home and make a fancy meal of shrimp(nicole was eating it the other day and I have been craving it), pasta (kurtis's famous alfredo recipe), and salad (wendy's style). Then I am going to play guitar/write, start my corset, dick around on here some more, I'm sure, and read in bed until I fall asleep. I hope to do all of this early enough so that I can get more than 5 hours sleep and have a good time with my friends tomorrow without falling asleep around 9.
I hope all of you are doing well. I hope everyone has a great thanksgiving and when you think about what you are thankful for that you not only realize what is important to you but SHOW IT as well because one day you could loose those things.
angelus_am_i:
yeah people sometimes bend over backwards for the ones they love and care about *kisses ur cheek* don't cry sweetie 
cinemonk:
Awww. It's terrible when you put yourself out there for someone else and they don't really show any affection in return. Believe me, I have totally been there. I hope that your night turns out alright hun!