oak

I fucking hate mother's day. I shouldn't, but I do. I used to be a giant wreck for days. Now, I think I'm fine, right up to the last second, and then I fall apart. I know she's in a better place. I know she's watching over me. But I can't see her, can't say hello to her, can't hug her, can't do anything. And that sucks.

And every year, another friend experiences the same thing. It's not as fresh for me, so I try to council and console, and be grown up and make things better.

And true, it's not as bad as the year before, but then it comes down to today, and it is still terrible, and I don't know if I'm telling the truth to my friends or not.

I just know it hurts. I wish I could see her for at least a minute more and hug her and tell her good-bye one more time .... but I will never get that chance.