I think I'm like a week late on this topic! But I'm really excited about it it's a current topic in my life right now.
@rambo @missy
so those of you who've been following my profile for at least 3 years or longer are aware of some of my relationship misadventures especially in my last one with my son's dad! So as you know I am very aware of red flags now more than ever. But as crappy as some of my previous relationships have been, the last one being especially abusive and toxic. I have taken a lot of time to reflect and ask myself over the years.
What behaviors and qualities would I see as healthy in a relationship?
In the past when I reflected on this question I would put astrix next to the most important ones that I knew I couldn't compromise on. Telling myself that it was unrealistic to think that I would find somebody that meets everything on my list. But I have learned a lot over the last three years especially both from my toxic relationship with my son's dad and my personal spiritual journey that I have been on.
Although I still see certain qualities as being more important than others I believe that it is perfectly reasonable to expect my future relationships to be as good to me as I am to them both in friendship and in romantic possibilities. after what I have been through over the last few years I will no longer think that it is ridiculous that I should find someone or multiple someones that are capable with treating me with the respect that I deserve as well as having qualities that I find admirable. I will no longer compromise or settle or tell myself that that type of person just couldn't exist because in the last year alone I have learned that that just isn't true. That if you believe in something if you believe you truly deserve something you can have it without ever having to compromise on your values or who you are as a person.
That being said here are some things that I personally would consider green flags in a relationship whether it be romantic or platonic.
Responsible
Genuine
Solid sense of self
Can take care of themselves
Holds down a job
Doesn't do drugs and no major legal trouble
Kind
Honest
Loyal
Their family likes me
They help take care of their family
My child likes them and they care about my child
They respect my boundaries
They have solid boundaries
We make each other laugh
I don't feel drained when I'm around them
They can accept me as I am and I can accept them as they are neither one of us feels the need to change the other.
They are supportive especially when it comes to my modeling.
they don't mind giving me my space they don't need to be around me all the time
They can back up what they say with their actions
Consistent
Intelligent
Has goals
They are able to communicate well
This probably isn't a full list but these definitely are important to me ❤️
