Hi SG!
I am posting this blog for @jagz993 but if anyone else is wondering about my new tattoo... here you go :)
I haven't talked about it too much on here but those of you who follow me on other social media and have talked with me frequently, know that I am into the occult and know that I am familiar with the paranormal and supernatural. Those of you who have talked to me privately or have seen any of my videos know that I have been "gifted" and have had many paranormal experiences since early childhood. Alot of you may also know that I am christian and have a very personal relationship with God.
Now these two things coming together have at times been conflicting for me and I'm sure a lot of you can guess why....
As a little kid I just thought "Oh other people must experience stuff like this too" but as I got a little older I quickly found out this was not seen as normal, and especially frowned upon by most Christians. I had experienced things that made me feel like I had to hide my gifts as much as possible and only a small group of close friends knew about it. My mom even told me at one point that I had to try and shut it out because it was probably of the devil...
I tried but I never could turn it off. Eventually I was able to convince myself, as long as I don't try to develop it and I let things happen as they happen, I can't control that so surely i won't go to hell. I didn't even begin to feel like I could start to talk more about this side of myself until high-school. Around that time is when I started to get to know a few other people who had similar gifts to me. Especially my neighbors at the time who are now essentially my adoptive family. What also helped me kind of start to come out was the fact that around that time shows like Ghost Hunters were becoming popular and that started to make me feel like this stuff as becoming more and more acceptable to talk about. However I was still struggling with actually fully accepting my gifts because so many people had told me they were evil.
Around 18 I was going through a lot of changes and found it easier to ignore that part of myself, but the older I got the more hollow I felt, Like a piece of myself was dying and something about that felt so wrong and honestly... sinful So about 3 years ago. I slowly started "going back to my roots" Starting with healing crystals because I was going through some awful stuff at the time. Even then however I still was holding back and hesitant about potential certain aspects of my gifts, but I was slowly coming around.
I met my fiance almost a year ago who is gifted like me but instead of it being stigmatized when he was growing up it was accepted and seen in a positive light. That brings us to now...
Although I am still struggling coming to terms with the fact that this is not evil, sometimes. I have made a lot of progress and have made steps to not lose the gifts I was given. I designed this tattoo to constantly remind myself that I have nothing to be ashamed of . I did not ask for this I was born this way. So why should I be ashamed. Just because I may not fit "the mold" that doesn't make me evil or any less faithful to my God. God has and will always love me and guide me.
My tattoo says 1Peter 4:1o, which states, "Each of you should use whatever gifts you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's Grace in its various forms"
and below the wings it says "God has blessed me," "Not cursed me"
If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask. :) Also I did some videos on this subject so I'll leave a link to my youtube channel for those of you that are interested
