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nyghtwish

Member Since 2004

Followers 42 Following 47

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Saturday Feb 19, 2005

Feb 19, 2005
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So...be proud of me, I did it. I finally told the ex-boy that we couldn't sleep together anymore. I don't know how I feel about it yet. Sometimes I feel really empowered and happy about it...and sometimes, like right now for instance, I just cry uncontrollably. I don't think I'm still in love with him; I'm just having a hard time dealing with the fact that he's not still in love with me.

He asked for his rings back. I didn't know what to say. He's the one that doesn't want to be together, I feel like it's my perogative to keep the rings if I want to. He said he didn't think I cared because I never wear them. I never wear them because they only fit my ring finger and I do feel a little weird about wearing them there, as they WERE at one point, engagement rings. So I suppose I'll probably never wear them again, but that doesn't mean I don't want them, you know? They're mine, dammit. I'm right, aren't I?

It's so weird because I feel like I'm never going to meet anyone. At least no one that I am interested in in return. Or for that matter are interested in me in return. I have a weird personality, I've come to recognize, many different facets. I have to find someone that can deal with my multiple personalities. I'm a little goth, a little punk, a little preppy, a little girlie, a little kinky, a little vanilla, a little tomboy, a little nerd...and that's only the beginning. How am I going to find someone that will go to a metal concert with me but also understand my undying love of shoes and purses? Or play soccer with me and then read me Harry Potter porn while I do my nails? Who will go down on me more often than I have sex with him? ACK! Now I'm having heart palpitations.

I am soooo screwed. With everything. Way to fuck me over, life. I realized that my profile picture is not as cute as I thought it was. My brother's screen (which I'm viewing currently since I'm home for the weekend) is better than the one I have at school and suddenly I'm noticing the bags under my eyes, the blemish on my cheek, and how very plain I look. Damn.

(See, I decided to complain again since it worked to my advantage last time.)
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
lordwarlord:
You are to hug up on little things. Relax, you will find somebody. If you dont like your picture, change it. Man you are a awesome chick that happens to be quite good looking. If you dont belive me, well I will have to slay you will and axe for being crazy. Remeber, I am the god of awesome and I say you are awesome and will do fine! NOW GO OUT INTO THE WORLD AND BE HAPPY! mad
Feb 20, 2005
ash:
thanks so much for the comment on my set!!! I know its probably really late now, lol, but I had a lotta comments smile
Feb 22, 2005

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