nyghtwish

So just had a long talk with the boy. (If you go back one entry, you'll see why the talk had to happen.) Funny thing is, he brought it up. Not over Ryan, of course, but just the fact that something is amiss in our relationship. So basically the idea for right now is that we are friends with benefits. He's still my best friend and I still want to hang out with him. But I'm having a good time when I don't worry about him. And he's having a good time when he's not wondering if he's being a good boyfriend. And we have the full intention to get back together some day. And we don't have any intention of sleeping with anyone else. Although we also stipulated that not having the intention didn't mean it wasn't going to happen...it just wasn't the reason for our temporary change in relationship.

It's so great to get all this off my chest. I don't feel guilty anymore for having dirty thoughts about Ryan. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to talk to him. He doesn't do email or AIM. I could call and leave a message, but I don't really do the phone. And isn't it totally skeevy for me to call up and be like, "I know you have a girlfriend now, but call me when you don't." Yeah. It totally is. I just...I can't explain it, but I have the feeling he'd get back with me in two seconds. He just doesn't know how, especially since I initiated everything last time. So maybe if I just lay down hints? I could call and say, "It was nice seeing you again this weekend." Or something to that affect. Or I could add "it was nice seeing you without your shirt on again this weekend. Just wish you could have seen me the same way." Haha, cuz that's not sketchy at all.