nyghtwish

Better today. For no other reason than I survived the day. Quite an accomplishment, you know. I'm currently procrastinating writing a Modern Poetry paper. Bad me. Someone needs a spanking... Lord help me.

Boyfriend and I had a talk yesterday and something kinda hit me. We date because it's comfortable. Because we can be ourselves and the other one will forgive us. We get easy sex. But I think if we just met, we wouldn't date. Three years ago, we were interested in each other. Now...we're just there.

Is that how relationships are supposed to turn out? I mean, I'm sure my parents don't get horny over each other any more (oh god, gross) but they're old! They've been together over 30 years. We haven't even been together 3 years and there's no spark. I love him and I will ALWAYS love him. I don't know if I could survive if we broke up. I guess I just didn't expect a relationship to be like this after such a short time. And I'm afraid it's not supposed to be like this, that it's just gotten too easy.

Whine whine whine.

On another note, I've decided to start acting like I'm trying to get pregnant. That's when a lot of women are the healthiest. So. No more caffeine (easy enough, I don't drink coffee or tea and I need to let soda go), no more smoking (three left in this pack and that's THAT), no drinking (well, okay, amend that. no excessive drinking, since I'm not ACTUALLY trying to get pregnant), eating right and daily exercise. So yeah. I'm afraid at this rate, when I DO actually want to get pregnant, I'll have a hard time or develop diabetes or something. Can we say paranoid?