nyghtwish

Everything's okay. I do feel like I'm grasping at straws many days but I'm still okay. I have realized how much work I still have ahead of me before getting in to grad school or progressing at all in that direction. I'm nervous and excited and determined and weak all at the same time. I've kind of thought that I might want to try out Colorado. I need someplace with clean air. I know that sounds weird, but I just need it.

I've also applied to start doing volunteer work at the hospital. Nothing like changing bedpans, I don't think I could handle that. But delivering flowers, visiting with patients, that kind of thing. I think the experience of talking with people will be good for me. And hopefully for them as well. I realized that since I no longer have days free to go visit my family or goof off, I might as well do something productive with my spare time, do something that will promote myself for what I want to do.

That being said, I still hate being mature enough to make that decision. I'm going to miss sleeping in, goofing off, that kind of thing. I'm still young. But I have to use this time to make sure that I'll have the means to sleep in, goof off, and do everything that I want to do when I'm older. I guess I'll just suck it up.