nyghtwish

Well shit. It's my mutherfucking birthday. 23. Gah. Lame. When does the time start moving backwards?

I'm getting depressed again. I really need to see the brain doctor. Or I need to branch out again, try something else. I'm growing a little disgruntled with some of my current relationships and I think distancing myself is exactly what I need right now. I think the honest to god reason I haven't done this sooner is because I'm afraid they won't miss me as much as I will miss them. I hate that I've lost pretty much all of my confidence. In just another year that has passed, I'm growing more into myself than out of the shell. I don't really know what I need to pick me up but I do know that turning 23 is not helping matters.

I have to figure out something to distract me. I'm falling back into the practice of letting people around me determine my mood which is so harmful. I've spent years perfecting the pursuit of happiness and now a couple of mediocre friends are getting in my way. Well fuck that.

Gah. 23. Fucking shoot me.