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nycbette

mordor

Member Since 2005

Followers 10 Following 15

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Wednesday Mar 16, 2005

Mar 16, 2005
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so as many of you know, i used to reside in lovely minnesota...land of the loons.

my dad (not from minnesota, only been there once, just passing thru), send this to me...good humor! of course, it's probably only really funny if you know all about the midwest, and minnesota's goofy luthran/church basement culture...but it's still humorous, even if all you know about that glorious state is "Fargo" (which isn't even in minnesota), and the Governator...


YA SHURE, YA BETCHA! DIS IS DA LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN
MINNYSOTA. ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA AND MONTANA.


>>If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da
no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is an
upliftin experience. Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.
>
>

Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21,
a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by freewill offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget
is met.

Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da
safety system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.

Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a
sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet.. Sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.

In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da
Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say trespass
against us," which isn't right, but what can you do?

Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because
day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of your head.

We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee
pot up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kiddin!

Right now I'll say Grace. "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze
gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in
Dulut or pretty close. Amen!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
misterusername:
You gonna be at the party on Saturday? If so, we can talk about pot and movies there. smile
Mar 17, 2005
kingsnake:
Reminds me of home -- somewhat!

By the way, the new Judas Priest album -- freakin' amazing! Let me know if you want it...
Mar 19, 2005

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