nust

I haven't really been posting much lately, sorry for that. Have had a lot on my mind. Had my mind thrown through a ringer lately. Turns out the girl who I liked, and who I thought liked me, just wanted to use me to get over her ex. Normally I wouldn't say this is such a big deal, but I hate being led on. If you don't want to date me don't continually tell me you do and find excuses not to see me. Stop telling me how much you miss me or that you are too sick to do something, then tell me later that night about going out with whatever other friend you are going out with. It's like a dagger through your heart. Doesn't help when you are already struggling with you are. I just don't feel attractive recently

To be fair I need to get over the emo bullshit. As much as I want to demean myself or say that this relationship being just another in a long line of relationships to not work out is who i am or what I am destined for I know that's a lie. It's just me trying to make myself feel bad. I don't need help with that. I shouldn't keep lying to myself. It's probably just me trying to get some form of pity because I'm basing my happiness on other people's actions toward me. That isn't healthy. The good part is I can recognize this for what it is. Now I just need to work on changing it.

Well now that I have gotten that small bit of venting is done I suppose I should post something positive, no need for my first blog post in a long time to be all depressing.

Doing the Thanksgiving thing today. Cooking for quite a few people. Get to show off my culinary skills, so that's good. Perhaps I should just go out and try and have a good day today. Things will turn around soon, I just need to keep being the person I am and not worry about changing for someone.

Hope you all have good days today. I'm gonna try, you all do the same. Thanks everyone