nursesugar

Okay, fine, I did it. I left Jim. I moved back in with my mom (ugh that sounds RETARTED) and left him the dreaded "dear john" letter. I know, it's cold, but I have no backbone when it comes to hurting people, and if I did it face to face then I'd just give in and stay and start this whole vicious cycle again. I had to do it. I felt so bad hurting him... and that's not even the bad part. The bad part is when he gets home and finds the damn letter. And starts calling me like crazy and crying and shit. I can't handle that. I just have to stay strong I guess, but right now I feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world. Hurting people is awful. I don't know how other people do it so easily. I swear if I ever have to go through this again I'll kill myself. Shit I might anyway. Argh. I'm in such a bad place right now. I don't even know what to do from this point. My dad says that leaving was the hard part, and everything else will just fall into place. I don't see how that's the case, but whatever. It's not even that I want to still be with him, because I don't. I'm not in love with him. Never was. It's just that he's such a sweet guy and doesn't deserve to have his life ripped apart by a psychopath like me.

Mike, I don't think you wanna deal with this. Or me.