Satisfaction
A man walks down the street thinking about roasted lamb and pocket bread. He's just solved a rather complex issue relating to a global settlement for past due property taxes, and he intends to not think about that again for two days. He passes a homeless man who asks for change and he hands over the 50c in his pocket. He hadn't had a...
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A man walks down the street thinking about roasted lamb and pocket bread. He's just solved a rather complex issue relating to a global settlement for past due property taxes, and he intends to not think about that again for two days. He passes a homeless man who asks for change and he hands over the 50c in his pocket. He hadn't had a...
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VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
lilyk:
update, get on it
lilyk:
nice. i knew you had it in you
Rain
I'm pissing off a lot of people recently. Mostly myself. I'm disappointed in myself, which is worse than mad sometimes. It makes me feel like becoming a scientologist just so I have something to pass the time with. Also, I think I need that vitamin therapy, and pyramid schemes are really the best way to meet women. See, even when I'm trying to be...
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I'm pissing off a lot of people recently. Mostly myself. I'm disappointed in myself, which is worse than mad sometimes. It makes me feel like becoming a scientologist just so I have something to pass the time with. Also, I think I need that vitamin therapy, and pyramid schemes are really the best way to meet women. See, even when I'm trying to be...
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
creative_slacker:
Must you lick your balls in front of us?
Must you lick your balls in front of us?
creative_slacker:
Oh, I can't take credit for that^^^ I just happened to be surfing when I found it. I just thought you'd enjoy it.
My roomie Ninjew has joined the site. He's the balls. And deadly. Our apartment is filled with ninja stars, dreidles, kitanas, and knishs. He rules.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
lilyk:
Please delete that number from your phone. When you text someone and they don't respond, that doesn't mean call their home. I will no longer answer potential drunk dials from you. Grow up.
I Give Thanks
or: I Want to Show the Nation My Appreciation
Sooooo, I get home from a grueling [ahem] 6 hour workday, and am kinda pissed because the subway was hotter than the most intense hellfires imaginable, and I'm only stopping home to change because I have to go all the way to the upper east side to move a couch for my sister....
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or: I Want to Show the Nation My Appreciation
Sooooo, I get home from a grueling [ahem] 6 hour workday, and am kinda pissed because the subway was hotter than the most intense hellfires imaginable, and I'm only stopping home to change because I have to go all the way to the upper east side to move a couch for my sister....
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
walkswithbears:
I'd have smacked her with the bowling ball, but I blame that on my rough upbringing. Welcome to the oneohfive, squire!
I Have a Proposition For Everyone in the Whole World
I have a proposition for you: this is how I begin sentences when I'm still not convinced of the legitimacy of what I'm about to propose. The secret is out! If you hear me say this, get ready to start poking holes in the argument I'm about to make. Sometimes, I use the word...
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I have a proposition for you: this is how I begin sentences when I'm still not convinced of the legitimacy of what I'm about to propose. The secret is out! If you hear me say this, get ready to start poking holes in the argument I'm about to make. Sometimes, I use the word...
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VIEW 25 of 55 COMMENTS
lilyk:
gmail is being a bitch, you are ignoring them anyway, i am getting dragged to the movies. 
smuffy:
I heard you got the package!
thanks for not telling me, tard. I've been checking USPS.com for tracking info, everyday obsessively, especially after knowing people like velvet got theirs a loooonnnng time ago.
thanks for not telling me, tard. I've been checking USPS.com for tracking info, everyday obsessively, especially after knowing people like velvet got theirs a loooonnnng time ago.
This is the greatest and best journal update in the world
tribute
The full version of this teaser update promises to be one of the greatest updates of all time. I will include a couple of pictures. Probably only one picture. Because if you want all the good pictures you'll have to go talk to Smuffy. She takes more pictures than [insert wittiest analogy...
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tribute
The full version of this teaser update promises to be one of the greatest updates of all time. I will include a couple of pictures. Probably only one picture. Because if you want all the good pictures you'll have to go talk to Smuffy. She takes more pictures than [insert wittiest analogy...
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VIEW 25 of 101 COMMENTS
velvetholmes:
i have a proposition for you.
velvetholmes:
You have twin brothers.....Lilyk and Rannie are twins....I'm totally dating a twin.....Viki wants to kiss the twins in my pants who live below my weiner....
You're right..it is all connected.
You're right..it is all connected.
Drugs are Bad, mmmmkay?
So. I just got home from Negril, Jamaica. This was my second trip to the lovely homeland of wild dogs and drugs. I have never been offered more drugs in my life. The first time I went, it was during spring break and apparently there were all sorts of undercover cops busting drug dealers. Not that it was difficult, I mean,...
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So. I just got home from Negril, Jamaica. This was my second trip to the lovely homeland of wild dogs and drugs. I have never been offered more drugs in my life. The first time I went, it was during spring break and apparently there were all sorts of undercover cops busting drug dealers. Not that it was difficult, I mean,...
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VIEW 25 of 44 COMMENTS
velvetholmes:
BTW...JOIN THE 105 DAMMIT! 
Drugs are Bad, mmmmkay?
So. I just got home from Negril, Jamaica. This was my second trip to the lovely homeland of wild dogs and drugs. I have never been offered more drugs in my life. The first time I went, it was during spring break and apparently there were all sorts of undercover cops busting drug dealers. Not that it was difficult, I mean,...
Read More
So. I just got home from Negril, Jamaica. This was my second trip to the lovely homeland of wild dogs and drugs. I have never been offered more drugs in my life. The first time I went, it was during spring break and apparently there were all sorts of undercover cops busting drug dealers. Not that it was difficult, I mean,...
Read More
I Have a Fear of Not Flying
This is what happens when you take 120 flights a year. You begin to think that life would be better if you were always in the air. Life is ordered and predictable in the air. I know that the assortment of warm nuts will arrive along with my cocktail. I know that shortly thereafter, I will press a...
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This is what happens when you take 120 flights a year. You begin to think that life would be better if you were always in the air. Life is ordered and predictable in the air. I know that the assortment of warm nuts will arrive along with my cocktail. I know that shortly thereafter, I will press a...
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VIEW 25 of 47 COMMENTS
tangledupinblue:
totally suckerpunched me with the negril card.
I owe you a snowball, sir.
I owe you a snowball, sir.
hellonurse:
I'm trying to stay positive on the whole thing... it's just such a pain in the ass...
lilyk said she gets to come visit you in a week or two. How exciting! I would be exceptionally jealous, but for the snow. I saw it for the first time earlier this year and decided that, while pretty, I didn't much like it. That may have been the bronchitis I caught talking though.
lilyk said she gets to come visit you in a week or two. How exciting! I would be exceptionally jealous, but for the snow. I saw it for the first time earlier this year and decided that, while pretty, I didn't much like it. That may have been the bronchitis I caught talking though.
Quin Qui the Unmerciful
This weekend I got scalped at Foxwoods, but not by a Native American. Noooo, I was scalped on a reservation by an Asian blackjack savant named Quin Qui. He had an extension on the bottom of his name badge that said simply "George". I don't know what Quin Qui means, but I'm pretty sure "George" is Chinese for "cash vacuum". This...
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This weekend I got scalped at Foxwoods, but not by a Native American. Noooo, I was scalped on a reservation by an Asian blackjack savant named Quin Qui. He had an extension on the bottom of his name badge that said simply "George". I don't know what Quin Qui means, but I'm pretty sure "George" is Chinese for "cash vacuum". This...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
lilyk:
i don't find hell mysterious, it woudl be a welcome change to my everyday life it hink