State of my Motherfuckin' Union
Here are some things that have happened to me recently:
Bit by dog I got bit by a fucking dog. I had to spend three hours in the hospital on Superbowl Sunday getting cleaned out, having antibiotics pumped into me via IV, and generally feeling like a huge douche-bag. Apropos of this, fuck dogs.
In Court Not for me, for work. Very little sleep last week as pre-trial prep can be an absolute whoremonger. The gallery is filled with what are essentially church pews, so when you have to sit back there for 10 hours a day, you start to feel like your ass is going to rebel against the rest of body and just run off.
Worst Pain Ever I was swinging a plastic bag around that had some stuff Id just purchased from the DR (thats Duane Reade, not the lovely Dominican Republic) and lost control. The bag rocketed around in a spiral taking full advantage of centrifugal force and smashed into my ballzack with the force of 1000 locomotives. Or at least it felt that way. God help my poor testicles, which seem to have been targeted by the fates for abuse.
Mice There is a mouse in my apartment. Ninjew and I plan to catch him using some very cutthroat techniques. The fact that I have a mouse in my apartment should come as no surprise to lilyk or Smuffy.
Men At Work In what can only be described as the Greatest One-Two-Three punch in the history of music, the album Business As Usual begins with the following tracks: 1) Who Can it be Now?, 2) I Can See it in Your Eyes, and 3) Down Under.
Karate I still dont know karate.
Fried Chicken I ate ungodly amounts of Popeyes Spicy Extra Crispy chicken yesterday, and today I feel like Satan took a dump in my stomach. I doubt the pigs-in-a-blanket helped the situation at all.
Sobriety Due to the aforementioned course of antibiotics, I will be sober for an entire week. This is odd. My dementia seems to be worse already. I think I should just keep my mouth shut for the rest of the week.
Here are some things that have happened to me recently:
Bit by dog I got bit by a fucking dog. I had to spend three hours in the hospital on Superbowl Sunday getting cleaned out, having antibiotics pumped into me via IV, and generally feeling like a huge douche-bag. Apropos of this, fuck dogs.
In Court Not for me, for work. Very little sleep last week as pre-trial prep can be an absolute whoremonger. The gallery is filled with what are essentially church pews, so when you have to sit back there for 10 hours a day, you start to feel like your ass is going to rebel against the rest of body and just run off.
Worst Pain Ever I was swinging a plastic bag around that had some stuff Id just purchased from the DR (thats Duane Reade, not the lovely Dominican Republic) and lost control. The bag rocketed around in a spiral taking full advantage of centrifugal force and smashed into my ballzack with the force of 1000 locomotives. Or at least it felt that way. God help my poor testicles, which seem to have been targeted by the fates for abuse.
Mice There is a mouse in my apartment. Ninjew and I plan to catch him using some very cutthroat techniques. The fact that I have a mouse in my apartment should come as no surprise to lilyk or Smuffy.
Men At Work In what can only be described as the Greatest One-Two-Three punch in the history of music, the album Business As Usual begins with the following tracks: 1) Who Can it be Now?, 2) I Can See it in Your Eyes, and 3) Down Under.
Karate I still dont know karate.
Fried Chicken I ate ungodly amounts of Popeyes Spicy Extra Crispy chicken yesterday, and today I feel like Satan took a dump in my stomach. I doubt the pigs-in-a-blanket helped the situation at all.
Sobriety Due to the aforementioned course of antibiotics, I will be sober for an entire week. This is odd. My dementia seems to be worse already. I think I should just keep my mouth shut for the rest of the week.
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p.s. I miss and love you berry much, mi hermano.