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A quick user's guide to a happy, content null:

1. Wake up very late in very warm bedroom.
2. Go back to sleep for another hour.
3. Take a long, long hot shower--until the water is just starting to lose temperature.
3a. Wash hair twice and smell the happy vanilla soap frequently.
4. Shave very thoroughly with the last of the hot water.
5. Dress in old, comfortable chinos, polo shirt, and sneaks.
6. Have an early lunch of fresh spinach fiore with sauteed mushrooms and the last of the homemade basil marinara sauce. Accompany with a fresh orange and some mineral water.
7. Read and goof around at home for a while.
8. Leave home to do some window shopping and people watching downtown.
9. Have an early dinner of rare a New York strip steak and twice-baked potatoes at the Met Grill. Accompany with a nice glass of pinot noir.
10. Have a nice piece of New York-style cheesecake for dessert.
11. Stop at the tabaconist and purchase a nice, light Churchill-sized cigar.
12. Come home; put on a mix of Air, Stereolab, Zero7, Royksopp, and Supreme Beings of Leisure; and curl up to smoke first cigar since last spring while sipping the last of the Old Rip Van Winkel bourbon.
13. Retire to bedroom to read until bedtime.

Of course, that all comes crashing down when I realize that I'm happy, which means that something terrible has to happen soon. Because I can never be happy. It's been proven by leading scienticians.