Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

null

Member Since 2002

Followers 15 Following 15

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Saturday Apr 28, 2007

Apr 28, 2007
2
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
I've been working on eliminating one of my most vexing and counter-intuitive traits. When I've had a lousy day or week, I do something senselessly self-destructive. I eat like shit or don't bathe properly or don't do the things I enjoy or spend too much money.

Last week was almost wholly bad, so I spent today not being self-destructive. I spent today living.

I woke up and promptly went back to sleep. After I finally got up, I showered and scrubbed myself head to toe. I never feel better than when I'm perfectly groomed.

Afterward, I donned an old pair of jeans, a new organic cotton t-shirt, my ancient flip flops, and the ridiculously rock-star Prada sunglasses. I walked to one of my favorite breakfast spots and ordered a vegetarian egg-white omelet. I was seated near a window in the old converted farmhouse and could watch the city starting to get moving. It was a moment of almost pure Zen.

About lunchtime, I caught a matinee of Next. It wasn't a transformative movie, and there were plot holes big enough to drive trucks through. It was still a fun way to spend a couple hours.

The sun was still shining and the day brisk when I left the theater. I grabbed my Reader and wandered to a nearby park to lie in the sun and read. On the way there, I picked up some apples to snack on.

There's something so decadent and perfect to lying outside in the sun, eating fresh fruit, and reading. To me, it's almost pornographic.

I came home and cooked dinner. I made salad with butter leaf and romaine lettuce, sugar snap peas, carrots, and red cabbage. I topped that with some exemplary blue cheese and bacon dressing. I whipped up a quick Caesar twice-baked potato and pan-seared a dry-aged ribeye in fresh butter. I was short of grey salt for the meat but the black salt did me nearly as well.

I watched Anthony Bourdain: No Reservation filmed in the Pacific Northwest while I ate my dessert of fresh Madagascar vanilla bean ice cream. I cried a little as he waxed poetic about Salumi in Pioneer Square.

Now, I'm drinking a bottle of a Japanese sports drink that I took a cotton to years ago, Pocari Sweat. I'm listening to Tom Petty. I'm writing a little.

And I've decided that this is much better than being self-destructive. Throughout the day, I felt happy and at peace. All the walking felt great. My huge body started to move like I expect it to. I felt tall and strong and straight of limb in a way that I love.

Here's to life.

More Blogs

  • 07.27.05
    6

    Wednesday Jul 27, 2005

    I had forgotten what it was like to enjoy sweating. I hope I can mak…
  • 07.26.05
    2

    Tuesday Jul 26, 2005

    It's apparently been Revenge of the Butt Rock NIght at Chez null. I …
  • 07.25.05
    17

    Monday Jul 25, 2005

    There's a trailer for V for Vendetta up on Apple.com, and perhaps it'…
  • 07.24.05
    3

    Sunday Jul 24, 2005

    After a blissful three-and-a-half day weekend, I must return to work.…
  • 07.23.05
    4

    Saturday Jul 23, 2005

    The slow groove of good 70's soul, fresh Rainier cherries, good bottl…
  • 07.21.05
    7

    Thursday Jul 21, 2005

    Today is better. I went to the gym and had pain au chocolat with fre…
  • 07.20.05
    8

    Wednesday Jul 20, 2005

    As much as I tell people that I don't have recognizable emotions, I d…
  • 07.20.05
    1

    Wednesday Jul 20, 2005

    Today, I made up a song about pooing that sounds suspiciously like "F…
  • 07.19.05
    4

    Tuesday Jul 19, 2005

    Kicked back listening to Isaac Hayes. Bored and restless. So tired …
  • 07.18.05
    9

    Monday Jul 18, 2005

    Best thing about my new phone: I walked onto a crowded elevator just…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
11
months
11
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,605 SuicideGirls
  • 1,114,234 followers
  • 14,959,141 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,490,464 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo