Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

null

Member Since 2002

Followers 15 Following 15

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Wednesday Sep 06, 2006

Sep 6, 2006
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email

Crazy. You live in a super-weird future that I can't even imagine most of the time.


From an email today where I was trying to explain the contortions I went through getting the latest RAM upgrade to fully recognize in my work computer.

Vacation was relaxing. It didn't start out that way, but things got better. On the flight out, I was in a window seat with no window, which robbed me of six inches of critical shoulder room. As the flight attendant announced that there was one seat available for upgrade in first class, I rang the buzzer and waved.

The lead fight attendant came down and was starting to process me when a guy in the back started throwing a fit that he was "on the list" for the upgrade and demanding that he get it.

I spun around and said, "I'll give you a hundred dollars to sit down and shut up."

Asshat McGee refused, and I was about to wish him a lethal case of bowel cancer when I happened to look down at the guy who was sitting in the aisle seat of my row. The United State Marshal Service-embossed notepad that he was writing on served to push my retort back down my throat, so as not to get me tasered. I made one last weak attempt to explain that I was in physical pain, but it didn't help.

I did wish him a good case of bowel cancer when I walked past him leaving the airport.

The rest of the weekend was relaxing. I bought someone the most expensive gift I've ever purchased, and I saw Crank, which left me in a bemused stupor. I didn't actually think that a movie could be faster and less coherent than Running Scared, but Hollywood likes to outdo my expectations. Reading a review of the movie just now, I come to wonder how it is that white critics always manage to spot and be appalled by "cavalier racism" while reviewers of non-white persuasions miss it. How the fuck else do you get street gangs, syndicates, and drugs in a movie about modern day Los Angeles without having blacks, Chinese, and South American cocaine cowboys?

Tuesday morning, I got my upgrade...and was seated next to my nemesis from Thursday night. I should have known better. Then he started chewing tobacco and spitting into a bottle. While I was pleased that he'd likely need a prosthetic jaw eventually, I wanted to beat the shit out of him on general principle.

I listened to Radiohead, read Count Zero, and tried to keep from killing this guy. I also waxed poetical about my trip and what this entry might look like. Unsurprisingly, my prose here became much less purple and much more stark. Such is the way.

Late yesterday, we started patent proceedings on a piece of software that I whipped out in three feverish days back in July. I despise software patents, but the company is determined. It's kind of odd that I go to meetings to patent things I've created in a polo shirt, cargo shorts, and flip flops so old that you can see the creases on my feet through the soles. I always thought that dudes who got patents were like scientists or uptight engineers or something. Not people like me, but this isn't the first time--it's just the first time I can't stop it.

My life always has a sort of cartoon logic to it, but I suspect that much like my explanation about getting more RAM today, many people kind of regard that logic as a super-weird something they can hardly imagine.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
luminaire:
Reccomend me a book. I'm bored.
Sep 7, 2006
scopitone:
Christ, you saw Crank? My little brothers saw that and thankfully couldn't stop laughing as they reenacted scenees from it. Damn you Statham! You had such a chance.

Oh, and news bit? Just start submitting stories or know the right people.
Sep 8, 2006

More Blogs

  • 04.28.07
    0

    Saturday Apr 28, 2007

    I've been working on eliminating one of my most vexing and counter-in…
  • 04.27.07
    3

    Friday Apr 27, 2007

    I find myself quietly singing "You Can't Always Get What You Want". …
  • 04.08.07
    3

    Sunday Apr 08, 2007

    After some dithering and chivvying, I decided to buzz down to Portlan…
  • 03.30.07
    0

    Friday Mar 30, 2007

    My heart is quiet, my mind languid.
  • 03.16.07
    3

    Friday Mar 16, 2007

    What more can you say about a birthday that starts with breakfast at …
  • 03.13.07
    0

    Wednesday Mar 14, 2007

    In a French cafe in Harajuku this afternoon, I ordered food from a Ja…
  • 03.11.07
    1

    Monday Mar 12, 2007

    We walked into the hotel room, and my first thought was, "Oh no, ther…
  • 03.04.07
    0

    Sunday Mar 04, 2007

    I spent a quietly civilized weekend. I've missed being quietly civil…
  • 02.21.07
    1

    Wednesday Feb 21, 2007

    In the past week, I've left several hundred dollars in cash, a checkb…
  • 02.11.07
    1

    Sunday Feb 11, 2007

    I woke up groggy, thinking, "I was going to do something this morning…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
19
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,599 SuicideGirls
  • 1,114,228 followers
  • 14,946,099 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,456,705 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo