Greetings from the waiting room at OrthoIndy. Various people with various injuries seem to be enthralled with the current episode of Montel, where they are discussing different ways you can get infections. I'm not sure it's such a great idea to play a program centered on germs in a hospital, but then again, I don't think the ladies at the desk even know what's playing on TV. But I digress. I'm here for my bi-weekly check-up, which I'm coming to suspect is not-so-much for my benefit, but more so to shut me up and keep me from complaining. FSM forbid I should bring up problems or concerns to my fuckin doctor! Sometimes I have serious doubts about his competence. No that's not right. I just get the impression he's not as invested as I'd like. I suppose it could be difficult, seeing as he sees a myriad of patients, but just a liitle more concern is all I'm asking. (Christ on a cupcake, Dr. Phill just came on, I hope they call my name soon!!!) The infection in my bone was found because the doc just wanted to placate me. He didn't think anything was wrong, assuming I was worried about nothing. Scheduled me for an MRI, just to "make me feel better." And low and behold, something WAS fucked up. At least we're handling the problem, now.(HA! Dr. Phil's Life Law #4 - You can't change what you don't acknowledge. That's fuckin hysterical, the sheer coincidence of it)

Been working on getting some shows set up. I swear, since I haven't been able to drink and smoke, I have become a lot more focused. I've also been dealing with some personal problems head on, which is good, better than I had been doing previous. Still gotta a lot of work to do, but I'm making progress, and that's an improvement over the stagnation that had been occurring. We have a show set up in Cincinnati in June plus we're trying to get one set up here in Indy next month. Short notice, but hometown advantage can never be underestimated. (Are your kids on Salvia? Watch tomorrow to find out!) I would always rather do a show in Naptown, but also, gotta grow the band (so to speak), expand into new territory and all that. And I always like to show other cities that we fuckin rock.Cuz we do. It's that simple. Been writing some new music recently. It's not my greatest, b ut this is more about getting back into the swing of things. Been in too much of rut lately. But I'm getting out.

Women problems. I seem to always have them, regardless. I am not above having a relationship that is nothing more than sex. I won't say I do it often, but I yes, I've done it before and I'll do it again. I'm very upfront to the chick, and I let them know that I'm not interested in the extended relationship. I tell them I am not boyfriend material and that I generally don't love. They say they understand. Most are lying. They become attached. I don't. It's happening now. I feel bad for her, because it seems to just be raining shit on her right now and she turned to me for comfort. I am not opposed to giving comfort, and I don't necessarily mean sexual, but she wants me to be something I never will be: in love with her. And I told her flat out that that's the way it is. Strange thing is, I don't feel as guilty as I thought I would. That worries me a little. That I may be losing my humanity, ever so slightly. I suppose time shall tell.

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