*sniff* I feel like I am going to cry (for joy) with all the wonderful comments and messages I got from my last blog. You guys and gals are the best! I am so glad I joined SG<3 I feel like I can be my crazy weird self here. 
lots of love to everyone! 
In other news...I got so anxious yesterday because of my financial situation. I found out I barely have enough financial aid to cover tuition which doesn't help me with my living situation. I was hoping that FAFSA would cover my rent and living expenses as well...well, technically it does but with the Graduate Plus loan has a 6.8% fixed interest and that is OUTRAGEOUS! So I can only really take out the subsidized and the unsubsidized loan which doesn't cover everything I need *pout*
so now I am screwed! I might have to move home and take classes online...the thought of that sent me into a horrible anxiety attack where I (sadly) lashed out at my boyfriend and felt like I was going to throw up. The only way I knew to release the tension was to draw so I got on my computer and played music and drew this in like 10mins:
for being a really quick drawing I actually really like it! Anyway...it helped calm me down so I could talk about it rationally with my boyfriend (who I apologized to). Talking didn't really change the situation but at least I know he is with me and wants to help in anyway he can. Just knowing that helped a lot.
So on this subject I also went on a job search quest of doom downtown trying to find a job but no luck. I applied to 5 places on Monday...no calls yet. I feel like everyone is against me! I just don't get it! I have 4 years retail management and 2 years call center, data entry, and AMAZING references from my bosses...I am perfect for a customer service lackey
ugh...oh well...I'll just wish for a miracle! pray to god, pray to the demon lord...SOMETHING...wahhh...
well I am going to end the blog here since I know I will just bitch more. over and out!
~DW<3
p.s. I am thinking about changing my name to DW...I wanted Delirious but it was taken by someone inactive! *pout* what do you think?
lots of love to everyone! In other news...I got so anxious yesterday because of my financial situation. I found out I barely have enough financial aid to cover tuition which doesn't help me with my living situation. I was hoping that FAFSA would cover my rent and living expenses as well...well, technically it does but with the Graduate Plus loan has a 6.8% fixed interest and that is OUTRAGEOUS! So I can only really take out the subsidized and the unsubsidized loan which doesn't cover everything I need *pout*
so now I am screwed! I might have to move home and take classes online...the thought of that sent me into a horrible anxiety attack where I (sadly) lashed out at my boyfriend and felt like I was going to throw up. The only way I knew to release the tension was to draw so I got on my computer and played music and drew this in like 10mins:for being a really quick drawing I actually really like it! Anyway...it helped calm me down so I could talk about it rationally with my boyfriend (who I apologized to). Talking didn't really change the situation but at least I know he is with me and wants to help in anyway he can. Just knowing that helped a lot.
So on this subject I also went on a job search quest of doom downtown trying to find a job but no luck. I applied to 5 places on Monday...no calls yet. I feel like everyone is against me! I just don't get it! I have 4 years retail management and 2 years call center, data entry, and AMAZING references from my bosses...I am perfect for a customer service lackey
ugh...oh well...I'll just wish for a miracle! pray to god, pray to the demon lord...SOMETHING...wahhh...
well I am going to end the blog here since I know I will just bitch more. over and out!
~DW<3
p.s. I am thinking about changing my name to DW...I wanted Delirious but it was taken by someone inactive!
*pout* what do you think?VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
For what it is worth, here are my thoughts. Ask every friend, family member... everyone you know for a small contribution to your education. Be specific. Tell them 'the why', 'the what' and most specifically 'the how' much it means to you. This is an opportunity for you and for them. As for the job search be surgical---ask with your whole heart---as if staying in school IS riding on it. "I would like to work here how can we make that happen" actually got me a job once. I was so pumped I actually said something that ridiculous.
This is my second attempt to add this comment as my internet connection broke and the last one didn't send after I'd finished it. Surprisingly I'm trying again. I don't know why. You don't know me. I don't know you. Oh yeah, I told you that you reminded me of 'Betty' once (the 'Archie' not the 'Page'). What do I know? Incidentally, you seem more like 'Mary Jane' to me in this moment. As for your boyfriend... he will help you. Two can live cheaper than one. There are a lot of ways to cut costs. Not pleasant perhaps but possible. I have survived half my life being a student, an artist and a working professional. The money woes---the debt---will eventually sort itself out but you look back at the WORK you did. That's what you remember when months become years become decades. In my case, it's the people, the shows and what you created... that's what I remember.
So, this my first and only blog comment on this site plus this my second attempt to post---here is what I really wanted to write... In your eyes I see great joy... I suspect it is probably in your physical presence and I don't doubt that it is a part of you that runs deep... you are an artist and what will always give you the greatest joy will be exploring that personal path... So don't leave it... for any reason... certainly not money... it will work itself out, it always does. Be bold and keep asking. Be creative and ask in ways that are new. Artist keep trying, and trying... trying with tears, with laughter. Press on. This is your opportunity to define for yourself what this means for you. It is a 'journey' for a reason. There is more than one path to doing what completes you. Being open is really the best way to save time. So be open. Ask in every way you can think of for a solution. I've spent years auditioning for jobs in every manner possible and I know it is never easy. But for me, personally... It has been worth it... "to sing, to laugh, to dream".
Finally, you have now this moment of my life... I am hoping it contains an energy... to support you as you follow your path as directly as your are able... do not give up... good luck, DeliriousWisdom
P.S. I feel that DW sounds too close to something you wash your ball bearings with