nrthrnsol

i found this saved IM conversation with me and an ex when we were breaking up..it shows my good luck with the ladies....
Nrthrnsol: hey
her: hi
Nrthrnsol: do you hate me?
her: no.
Nrthrnsol: ok well there definately some communication problems
her: why is that the word on the street?
Nrthrnsol: there seems like there is something up on your end and i dunno what it is
Nrthrnsol: sometimes i feel like you have a problem with me
her: i dont know what to say anymore.
her: i'm a jerk. i said that from the start.
Nrthrnsol: hmm
Nrthrnsol: well maybe we should take a break from each other
her: yeah.
her: i thought we were
Nrthrnsol: ok
Nrthrnsol: you are awesome..but lately its been weird..different ya know?
her: yeah.
her: i'm not awesome
her: i think you just like being in a relationship, and i just like being single. we're just too different in our goals i think.
Nrthrnsol: no you are..well i thik so
Nrthrnsol: yeah thats true...but also i need to work on my issues as well...
her: i'm sure there is someone who would probably like that about you.
Nrthrnsol: i would like to still hang out sometimes though
Nrthrnsol: my eyes hurts..aww
Nrthrnsol: hello?
her: hi.
Nrthrnsol: are you ok?
her: yeah i'm fine.
Nrthrnsol: ok i just need to work on me for a little
her: johnny do you think i don't want this?
Nrthrnsol: huh?
her: well i mean you dont need to say things like that... becuase this is what i want.
Nrthrnsol: ok
her: ok
her: okay so now we dont talk anymore?
Nrthrnsol: no...i still want to hang out...do you?
her: i dont know...
her: i thought that i would want to be your friend... that's probably why i never wanted to break up really..
her: but now i dont think it's a good idea.
Nrthrnsol: you dont think we should be friends?
her: no...
her: like maybe if we see each other say hi or whatever... but it's just too stupid. i dont think we even like each other at all anyway.
Nrthrnsol: hmmm ok..but if i see you out somewhere can we be ok
her: yeah like i dont hate you... i just think i was stupid for trying so hard.
Nrthrnsol: i dont think either of us should be in a relationship right now
her: yeah. it wasn't even what i ever wanted anyway.
Nrthrnsol: oh ok
Nrthrnsol: i didnt mean to pressure you
her: you didn't.. i guess i just let it happen.
Nrthrnsol: ok
her: sorry.
Nrthrnsol: its ok.. i kinda knew you werent that into it
her: then why did you want to be with me?
Nrthrnsol: i figured it out the other day
Nrthrnsol: thats where i think alot of the tension was coming from for both of us
her: want to ellaborate.
Nrthrnsol: like you said you never wanted to be in a relationship and i did
her: oh well...
her: sorry i wasted your time
Nrthrnsol: so you were not that into it and i was maybe too into it ya know
Nrthrnsol: you didnt waste my time
her: i think you just like being in a relationsihp... just being with someone?
Nrthrnsol: thats what i thought but over the last few days i did alot of thinking and i shouldnt be with anyone
her: why
her: well not that i disagree... i mean, do whatever you want...
her: but, it's a weird thing to think
Nrthrnsol: haha i just mean that i should love myself first and i dont think i fully do yet...and i should work on my carrer and things a little more ya know
her: yeah, do whatever makes you happy.
her: you were right about me acting single..
Nrthrnsol: i was?
her: i'm too selfish right now to care about anyone else besides my family and friends... like i just didn't put a lot of effort into you.
Nrthrnsol: its ok..i know you are going through alot with family and school
her: no.. it's not even that..
her: i would just get mad at you all the time.. and not tell you, and then be a jerk, because i had a lot of resentment.. and then not put effort into fixing things, because i never intended for there to be anything long-term.
Nrthrnsol: ok now things are making sense
her: haha
Nrthrnsol: i am glad you are telling me this stuff
her: why
Nrthrnsol: cuz now i am not wondering why things were lik ethey were ya know
Nrthrnsol: i am understanding them now
her: i just should have known from the beginning that things wouldn't work out between us.. becuase i like really assertive, ambitious guys... but i guess it was such a progressive thing, that i just let it happen.
her: and i probably just liked the attention.
Nrthrnsol: yeah i am passive usually...we could even figure out where to go eat at hahah
her: i know.
her: okay... anything else?
Nrthrnsol: no..we can still talk though right?
Nrthrnsol: at least on here?
her: why?
Nrthrnsol: oh ok if you dont want to
her: we dont need to be friends johnny
her: you have friends.
Nrthrnsol: its cool
Nrthrnsol: ok goodbye erin
her: bye.