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noxeos

Albany, NY

Member Since 2004

Followers 5 Following 33

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Sunday Sep 18, 2005

Sep 17, 2005
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What do people expect out of me? In my younger days I just had to run around screaming METAL and RWAAHHH and people gave me respect in the metal scene I was in. Always being a semi-intellectual, I find it a hard mesh to mix those two lifestyles. Convictions on philosophy, politics, life have always filled my head but I often lack the etiquette to discuss them in a conversation. The depthes of my mind are deep, yet I have no way to convey them. Now those things are at the forefront of my life in terms of my social standing at the university I'm attending. My avoidance and/or lack of social situations in the past has finally caught up, and I can say my anxiety is as high as ever.

My current situation reminds me of a song by a band from Albany, NY. ill remembered, the lyrics were written by Jane Casey Dorr, he's a living legend in Albany. It's off their CD 'Hero Park'.

I've forgotten who I am and I would like to be alone.
...and I've had too much to drink and I would like to be alone.
I've got to find my way back home.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
lori_:
You know, i was always like that. But then I realized why the anxiety? who the hell cares about these people. If you get good grades, get what you need to get, what does it matter?

It's been my experience at universities, the people that sit around and have intellectual coverstations with each other over coffee at some trendy at the time coffee place....are full of shit. Generally the people that judge you on your skillful display of faux intellectual diarreah do so because they know they are not intellegent. they are insecure and intimidated by those who do not or cannot converse with them because they know that the depts of your mind Swallow the shallow puddle of misinformation in theirs.

So fuck everyone you don't fit in with.
Sep 28, 2005
lori_:
where have you been? haven't posted inawhile is everything kosher?
Oct 7, 2005

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