novy

Once when I was on vacation visiting my mother in Arizona, we went to Petrified Forest National Monument. I don't know if anyone is familiar with that area, but before you get there you drive along this two lane road, seemingly alone. Gravel lines the sides, and much of this is made of pieces of petrified wood. But ignoring all that, except the desolateness, the most important part of the journey is the fields. There are these fields on both sides of that road that stretch on all the way to the horizon. These fields are covered in this bright yellowish-colored grass. We got out of the car on this road and I walked away from my family members who were sifting through the gravel on the side of the road. I stood there for a good 10 minutes staring at nothing. There was a storm coming, and the sky was pretty grey. I just looked at where the yellow of the fields and the grey of the sky mixed for a few minutes. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. The grey columns of rain in the distance plummeting down and nurturing the dried up, cracked soil. Funny how the time I was there it rained and it wasn't hot like it normally is in that area. Maybe it was fate. When there's a storm like that out in the desert or the plains there's usually a really strong, crisp breeze before it happens. There was most certainly one of those at this moment. If I had been alone I would've stood there for hours, just staring and enjoying the breeze. But I wasn't, and people want to move and do things and be busy, instead of enjoying moments that make life beautiful.
I never really felt what it was like to have an emotion so strong you feel like you are going to explode. But now I do. It's like an under the skin itch that you can't reach, you can try to get rid of the effect all you want but nothing helps it, no matter how hard you scratch. It's like wings sprouting from your back, tearing your skin open and spraying blood out behind you. It's like that light in the center of your world getting brighter and brighter but it's not a light bulb and it never goes out. It's something that constantly claws at you and wants to be alleviated but it's nearly impossible, and it's also one of the most beautiful things in the world. The substance of it completely removes the annoyance and it becomes something far more complex than what it might have at first seemed to be.
I feel like Mamimi.
--
This guy at work today told me he could never hit me because you know how you can't hit a woman. Then he picked up a "Girlie," sized t-shirt and said "Look they even have Daniel's size!!"
Yeah that's funnier and funnier every time I hear it.
--
"Now every day we looked up at the ceiling,
Watching ceiling fans go round,".