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nova_

Auckland

Member Since 2008

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Tuesday Sep 16, 2008

Sep 16, 2008
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Devils Gate - Wellington:



dont worry... its just a name... theres no actual gate and the devils super nice.

So talking to a friend the other day when he reminded me of a person from my hometown. He was the strangest person ever and my friend actually wrote a column about him in a magazine, and so I thought I'd share:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Fruit Loops: Not just a Cereal

Wanna tell ya a little story bout a man named Jed actually I want to tell you a story about a guy I used to know when I lived in Whangarei. For privacy issues I shouldn't say his name but he was known by a real flowery Goth poetry name - think Necrotic Obsession (mine according to Goth Name Generator, CJ's is Gore Whore!) when really it was something like Wilfred Jones.

He wore pirate shirts, white and frilly, had long hair and a goatee and only drank red wine that he claimed was blood. Now at first this cunning plan worked, he had some hot chicks hanging off him when I first met him. Sadly for him, the girls worked out there wasn't much going on upstairs and soon disappeared to fall for some other guys cunning image girl-trap.

This guy claimed to be a 400 year old warlock, one time at a party I asked him how old he was, he told me 400 so I asked if I could see his drivers license, which he obviously wouldn't. This guy also claimed to have an army. An army of martial artists, swordsmen and such like - to be honest I think he'd just listened to too many power metal songs. He also would regularly boast that there were many women in his army and that he had slept with most of them.

A mate encountered this 'army' one night in the then Whangarei Rock Bar Rusty Cage when they attacked him, it was basically this guy and four members of the World of Warcraft Apprecation Society. My mate Will (6ft 7 and weighing around 110kg) took them out by himself and then chased the guy into the toilets and trapped him in a cubicle. No doubt they recounted their exploits on some Games Forum of their encounter with some sort of Rock Troll. He would also say how he liked women with large clitoris's (Clitorii? Wait can I even say that in Nexus? Meh) Now to me, too large a clitoris and you have a penis. If anyone out there has read Chyna's (the wrestler) history or have seen any more recent videos she's been in (they're porn) you'll know what I'm talking about.

Despite him claiming to know quite a few people in bands and to be influential in music circles I never heard him discuss bands or genres or anything. Nuttier than squirrel turd!



Seriously! The one encounter I had with this individual was not a very pleasing one. He kept asking if he could brush my hair, and my flatmate had to kick him out of our apartment because he showed up to a party and would not leave.

Hope eveyones having a good week! kiss

VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
philosophocles:
what's Auckland? Sounds like some dirty slang for Australia. Or a town with loose morals. i could look it up, but it'd be much more interesting for you to tell me.
how long have you been in Uni and when do you get done? if i keep myself from being a total fuck up, i should be done with school by the end of next week (sunday should be my last day, but i am behind on some things cuz i slacked in my post production class.) It's just turning into winter here, so i can't imagine how it is there, getting all hot and stuff. I LOVE spring, so i'm kind of jealous of you right now. tell me all about it. and take pictures
much love
-dAN
Sep 19, 2008
madviking:
Always happy to make you laugh but Lake George this time of year is not warm! On Friday night it dropped down to 36 degrees F. It's really more of a summer destination because it's cooler up north but we still had a good time.

BTW you didn't deny the deal with the warlock!!! surreal
Sep 21, 2008

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