Pizza really can't be bad, right? I mean, at it's base it's bread, tomatoes and cheese. I've had not so good pizza before. I will even buy a slice from 7-11 on occasion. It's not good or great, but it's still pizza, so it's not horrible. It's pizza.
But today I had something that someone wanted to call pizza that was nearly inedible. Granted I was at a bowling alley with my daughter at a fellow four year old's birthday party.
(As an aside, if you ever want to experience true chaos, bring a couple dozen three and four year old's to a bowling alley and let them bowl. It's fucking bananas. Any parent who attempts this is a hero to me.)
Anyway. We were presented with this flat disc that looked like a pizza. It even appeared to have melted cheese on it. But when you actually put it in your mouth and chewed, something strange happened.
The disc/"pizza" turned into the contents of a compost bin your mouth. I'm not sure if it's the dough, the sauce, the cheese, or a combination, but what looked reasonable turned to shit mush upon chewing, nearly immediately.
I honestly have to give the creators of these "pizzas" credit. They created something so inedible that looks just like a pizza they should be awarded a prize.
Granted, I had a couple slices. I mean it's free pizza (ok, I only had half a slice. I couldn't even take a whole one.)
I'm not sure if there is a lesson here. I just never thought there was such a thing as bad pizza. I'm wrong and sad about it.