It happened again.
arugh.
A night alone with my husband. We haven't really been getting along lately and had a big long talk the other day about how there is no more intimacy/affection not to mention communication (on his part- i probably over communicate). So... we're working on it. Trying to be better.
at least, i thought we were.
so tonight- he's been out in the living room playing an old video game for about two hours while i've been reading and screwing around online.
I wonder out into the living room to chat- ask him if he wants to go get slurpees or something else treat like. I'm standing there in just my underwear...
me: baby, is it okay if i sit on your lap (i meant face to face) and snuggle for a bit?
him: sure.
me: okay
can you pause the game for a sec?
him: okay hun (he pauses it and puts down the controller)
i crawl onto his lap... he snuggles his head against my chest and wraps his arms around me... then... i hear the game start.... and realize that he's looking OVER my shoulder and has the controller in his hands- arms still wrapped around my back.
he couldn't take even 30 fucking seconds to be affectionate.
i didn't ask him to STOP the game.
god damn it.
i feel so... just.. icky and unwanted right now.
this sucks.
am i out of line to have my feelings crushed right now?
i don't know how we're ever supposed to fix things when he doesn't even try. maybe he doesn't really want to fix things. i'm running out of patience.
:headdesk:
...CENSORED