so. this is insaine.
i went looking for his myspace page again(he's my ex sort of... he's in a band. i thought it all ment more then it did... but alas, i was just his denver stop....) it's been deleted.
he's fucking getting married in a couple of months... which is still insaine.
i can't belive its been more then two years since they played here last.
i can't belive he tried to sleep with me... while he was still dating her.
i can't belive that i even care- its not like i still love him.
i love my boyfriend.
thats what makes this all so stupid.
i blame the pain killers that the dr. gave me for all of this- i'm not usually so indulgent when it comes to ex boyfriends.
ack. its warm in here. i cooked and ate dinner and fed the kitties with no clothing on. i should turn on the ac and go to bed.
tomorrow i have to wake up an call the *new job* place and tell them that i can't take the job.
Nick's getting laid off in august and they want to give me this job- but with a pay cut. and i just found out i have to have major dental work done (blah) and i'd be with out insurance for 90 days. i guess i don't hate my job enough to leave it.
blah.
i want to be braver... i want to take care of how i look a little bit more- i want to punch new holes in my face and add ink to my flesh and insert strange colors into my hair.
... i want to try to take another set.
bah. stupid drugs. i should probably post this blog on myspace... but then everyone could read it. SG is fantastic- so safe. i love it here... and every one i've met.
ok. sleep. i need to do it.
i went looking for his myspace page again(he's my ex sort of... he's in a band. i thought it all ment more then it did... but alas, i was just his denver stop....) it's been deleted.
he's fucking getting married in a couple of months... which is still insaine.
i can't belive its been more then two years since they played here last.
i can't belive he tried to sleep with me... while he was still dating her.
i can't belive that i even care- its not like i still love him.
i love my boyfriend.
thats what makes this all so stupid.
i blame the pain killers that the dr. gave me for all of this- i'm not usually so indulgent when it comes to ex boyfriends.
ack. its warm in here. i cooked and ate dinner and fed the kitties with no clothing on. i should turn on the ac and go to bed.
tomorrow i have to wake up an call the *new job* place and tell them that i can't take the job.
Nick's getting laid off in august and they want to give me this job- but with a pay cut. and i just found out i have to have major dental work done (blah) and i'd be with out insurance for 90 days. i guess i don't hate my job enough to leave it.
blah.
i want to be braver... i want to take care of how i look a little bit more- i want to punch new holes in my face and add ink to my flesh and insert strange colors into my hair.
... i want to try to take another set.
bah. stupid drugs. i should probably post this blog on myspace... but then everyone could read it. SG is fantastic- so safe. i love it here... and every one i've met.
ok. sleep. i need to do it.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
macq:
Yes, the "Ex-Files" are always compelling...BUT never as good as somebody new...even for a short term thing...Sounds like I'm giving advice..something I try to avoid. Anyway...on with the holes and the ink...and then post new pictures...(smiles)...Oh...I guess we hang out at different type places but during my "Guys Night Out", there's always a guy looking for the friend of the blonde....(smiles)... 
badrobot:
naked pet care - it's the way forward