Dont like to think too much, it makes me think too much,
It keeps my mind on my mind
Dont wanna see too much, it makes me see to much
Sometimes Id rather be blind
All the things that theyre saying & doing
When they pass me by just fills me up with noise
It overloads me
I wanna disconnected myself
Pull my brain stem out and unplug myself
I want nothing right now, I want to pull it out
Yeah, I want to pull it out, yeah
I wanna break it all down, hey, I wanna pull it out
Yeah, yeah, disconnect myself, disconnect myself
I wanna see it go down, yeah, disconnect myself
A thousand miles an hour going nowhere fast
Clinging to the details of your past
Talking bout your damages and your wasting my time
Wanna be the king of pain, stand in line
All the numbers and the colors and the facts
Backed by the rumors and the figures and the stats
I think Im gonna download my mind
Yeah, I want to pull it out, yeah
I wanna break it all down, hey, I wanna pull it out
Yeah, yeah, disconnect myself, disconnect myself
I wanna see it go down, yeah, disconnect myself
Too damn bad if at the end of the day the only thoughts
In your brain are all the things that they say, what a waste
Too damn bad if at the end of the line you got no idea
Whats on your own mind, you got no one to blame but yourself
Too much to know, too much to see
It might mean something to you but its nothing to me
Its just another ad for someones version of how they think it should be
I wanna disconnect myself, pull my brains damn out, unplug myself
I want nothing right now, I want to pull it out
Yeah, I want to pull it out, yeah
I wanna break it all down, hey, I wanna pull it out
Yeah, yeah, disconnect myself, disconnect myself
I wanna see it go down, yeah, disconnect myself
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So I have been in a really, really bad spot in my head for a few weeks., REALLY bad. A combo of living in the past, 'new' feelings, petty insecurities, fear and an inability to speak my mind conspired to allow a very, very bad person to take the controls of my life.
Thankfully I have managed to whip him out f the drivers seat and hog tie his bitch ass in the closet until I figure out what to do with him. I would like to kill him, dead forever but I am not sure if that is even possible... like it or not he is a part of me... one that is only trying to look out for me.
He just rarely does it in the right way...
However I am feeling much better now. But I am still a little nervous, I have felt 'better' several times over the last couple of months only to have it be a false alarm.... But I do think this time is the real deal...
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Joe Strummer makes everything better.
So does John Hiatt.
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As much as I bitch, I really do love my job.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
feel better. maybe you should drag him back out of the closet and untie him and force him to look at you and deal with you (or vice versa). acknowledge him rather than repress him. seems to work for me... but only if i'm ready for it and really open myself to it.
shopgirl shopgirl shopgirl shopgirl shopgirl shopgirl shopgirl shopgirl!
Till next outing, take care and be safe.