northsider

Every two or three weeks I head out the suburbs to my mother's house and take care of whatever projects need doing. The task I had had on my mind for the last month or two was trying to determine exactly what was skittering around in the attic. I could hear scratching and clawing and running back and forth from time to time; clearly there was something up there.

So it was off to Lowe's to buy an animal trap. Don't get on my case -- it's one of those humane traps where the prey walks in, steps on a hinged plate, and door a drops down behind it. Ten minutes of assembly and one peanut butter sandwich later, I climbed up the step ladder to the attic, put the cage into place, and began the waiting game.

Two hours later, I heard a lot of activity through the ceiling about where the cage was. A hour later the rattling noises continued, along with some excited squealing. I wasn't gonna wait until morning...



It was a squirrel! I had to put on gloves and throw a thick blanket over the cage as I lowered it from the attic trap door (lest the scared devil catch me with a claw). I took the cage down to the corner and gave it a stern warning to stay the hell out of the attic, then let 'im go.

The squirrel was foolish in one respect: it didn't even bother to finish the sandwich.