northsider

Foaming At The Mouth
My Proposal for The Greying of America

Homer: Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Marge: Homer, would you please stop reading that Ross Perot pamphlet?


At one time I had a special fondness for older people. I thought they were like a living time capsule that could give us insight in how life used to be lived and how the world had changed before their eyes. Now I've come to a new perspective: Fuck the elderly. They are foul, disagreeable, selfish bags of shit that should be set afire. The high content of suet in their already putrefying organs would be ideal to power steam engines.

I won't bore you with the details but suffice it to say that this is the product of my last three condominium board meetings. I knew that getting involved with these assholes would be a mistake as I noted in my blog over a year ago. Before I just found it all distasteful, now I could strangle them.

One zillion-year-old cunt has spent the last six months compounding her baseline ineducability by becoming so senile that to ask her what day of the week it is would have to be considered an essay question. She now apparently thinks she's paying me a vicious insult by ignoring me in the lobby. I'm not the only one who can't wait for her to die. I'm not being facetious -- I mean actually dead and buried. And she was a board member for the last year! We had one board member drop dead during the last year; why couldn't it have been her?

But I'm getting too worked up about this. After all, it's just my home, the most signficant investment of my life.

Other notes from my life these days:

* My favorite Pilates instructor was back from England for Winter Break and taught a class yesterday. God, how my abs have missed her. I asked her if she'd like to do something before she heads back and she said we'd hang out tonight, which I doubted from the start. As Apexxx has said many times, and been quoted by so many, "Bitches ain't shit," But I hope she moves back because I miss her Pilates classes.

* I won't be seeing any of you SGChicago people for the "Fuckabout" (whatever that may be) on the 15th. I'm trying to limit the times I do any socializing and enough unplanned events seem to be grabbing me without scheduled ones compelling me to overeat and overdrink. I was tentatively set for just getting pizza with people from the Alderman's office on Saturday, but I've since talked myself into Buffalo wings with a guy from the gym on Friday, and there's still an outside chance I'll be going to a club tomorrow night. As has been the case all my life, I'm my own worst enemy.

* Fuck, there's some foul stink in my place and trying to find it is driving me nuts. I had to buy some heavy-ass incense so I can cover it up until I can hit the place with a good cleaning. I wouldn't mind if it was just some garbage that had to be taken out or some other obvious source. Now I'm just worried it's like a pipe leak or something that would require more attention than just a bucket of Pine-Sol. If you're in my neighborhood and I don't invite you up, don't take it personal.

Edit: Am I the only one who dreads the "Saving Your Comment" animation on this site? That rotating daisy-like thing reminds me of Russian Roulette. Only with this you don't know if the servers will get stuck and not save your changes or perhaps delete your hard work altogether.