Foaming At The Mouth
Get Over Yourself
If there is one character trait I simply cannot abide in myself, something that causes me to regard myself with profound disgust, it is self-pity.
I've been out of work for about a year and a half which in and of itself is hardly remarkable -- I've drawn a steady paycheck for only six months of the last three and a half years (part of that was while I was trying to make money as a trader). But I had reason to believe that my friend John C. might be able to get my foot in the door at the bank/brokerage house where he works. And not just answering phones and punching data into the computer, but doing the kind of news research work where I could really make a name for myself.
Well, Thursday the news came through; their division got sold to another bank for an impossibly large amount of money (no joke; half a billion dollars, that's billion-with-a-b) meaning all talk of hiring will be out of the question until they make sure they have jobs of their own for the forseeable future.
To make a long story short, all I knew is that I thought I might have the job of a lifetime by the end of the summer. Now I may not have it for another year, if I get it ever. The summer heat has just started and I will spend it yet again without air conditioning. I have to get my doctor's appointments and prescriptions taken care of because (by law) my COBRA medical coverage runs out at the end of June.
And yet, somehow, I spent two hours earlier tonight chastising myself for wallowing in self-pity. By God, I'll become stronger yet.
Get Over Yourself
If there is one character trait I simply cannot abide in myself, something that causes me to regard myself with profound disgust, it is self-pity.
I've been out of work for about a year and a half which in and of itself is hardly remarkable -- I've drawn a steady paycheck for only six months of the last three and a half years (part of that was while I was trying to make money as a trader). But I had reason to believe that my friend John C. might be able to get my foot in the door at the bank/brokerage house where he works. And not just answering phones and punching data into the computer, but doing the kind of news research work where I could really make a name for myself.
Well, Thursday the news came through; their division got sold to another bank for an impossibly large amount of money (no joke; half a billion dollars, that's billion-with-a-b) meaning all talk of hiring will be out of the question until they make sure they have jobs of their own for the forseeable future.
To make a long story short, all I knew is that I thought I might have the job of a lifetime by the end of the summer. Now I may not have it for another year, if I get it ever. The summer heat has just started and I will spend it yet again without air conditioning. I have to get my doctor's appointments and prescriptions taken care of because (by law) my COBRA medical coverage runs out at the end of June.
And yet, somehow, I spent two hours earlier tonight chastising myself for wallowing in self-pity. By God, I'll become stronger yet.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
ckdexterhaven:
Yeah, on second thought, you were probably right about Streetcar being Brando's film. I just fell in love with Leigh in the movie. Probably blinded my judgement. And about Leigh's mental health: I don't quite remember specifics from that book, but I do remember that she recieved electric shock therapy for some sort of diagnosed mental issue. Might have been bi-polar, but the negative effects of that therapy only worsened it. There's a part in one of David Niven's memoirs where he describes a scene where a woman is sitting in room watching a television. Not realizing that the TV is switched off. Her real name wasn't used, out of taste, but it was revealed later that this was actually something someone witnessed of Vivien Leigh. Weird stuff there. 
lotusmonger:
the fallin' is what bike riding is all about. It's pure folly that we roll around on these small vehicles solely at the whim of rotational inertia to keep us alive. But I love to do it and I need the exercise. My left knee needed a good stretch too.