There are people in this world who devour food. Thats me. I dont eat a hell of a lot but when I do its like a magic trick. Sandwich on plate. DING! NO SANDWICH!
And then there are people who have cast iron stomachs and 'shit for brains' taste buds. I always check in with that Andrew Zimmern guy from Bizarre Foods. He is a happy go lucky turd eater who acts like everything he puts in his mouth is a scoop off an ice cream sundae. Such a liar. The first 10 episodes had him making that - just had some Duncan Hines - yummy face in every scene But he was eating the ass end of a dried tarantula on a stick.
The last few episodes Ive seen, however, it seems his producer told him to mix it up. He has now added yuck, gross, god-awful and putrude to his list of descriptions.
Here are some of the things Andrew Zimmern has eaten and given his gooey thumbs up to.
In Goa - Cow Urine Tonic (Okay, drink this if you want. Now go over to a cow and suck the urine directly out of his oily hog. See if that changes the yum quotient)
In Phuket - Fish Stomach Sauce (My favorite name of a city anywhere in the world. Fuck it!)
In Ethiopia - Raw Camel Kidneys with Berbere and Lemon Juice (The lemon juice ads great flavor to something that would otherwise just taste like, uh, Camel Kidney)
In Tanzania - Fresh Goat Blood (But I suppose human blood would be sick and off limits)
In Uganda - Giant Flying Ants (Because that is the kind of JUMBO you want)
In Hawaii - Roy Yamaguchis Homemade Natto - Tofu Skin with Hana Snails and Salmon Roe (Youve seen them in the garden and so many people consider it a delicacy. I say: Booger versus snail? Whats the difference?)
In Samoa - Giant Clam Sashimi (This I could get behind)
In Maine - Toasted Ears at Hugos (Huh? Who's ears?)
In Los Angeles - Wolfgang Pucks Hunan Style Rooster Balls (How about Wolfgang Pucks Nuts?)
In Iceland - Hakari, which is eight-week-old putrefied shark. (Wine, whiskey, cheese, and women. Those are four things I can except being old. Not fish of any kind.)
In Bolivia - Freeze dried rotten potatoes (Key word here is rotten)
In China - Donkey Skin (What a way to dominate a donkey. Make them carry your laundry across a desert and then eat the skin right off the fuckers back. Now THAT is a domination vacation!)
And me? The worst thing Ive ever eaten? Nothing too crazy. Probably ice fish sushi. I think thats what it was called. It was basically these translucent worms piled on top of a traditional seaweed and rice setup. The weirdest thing is that you could see some sort of eyes floating in their see-through bodies. And the taste? Little wet salty explosions in my mouth.
And then there are people who have cast iron stomachs and 'shit for brains' taste buds. I always check in with that Andrew Zimmern guy from Bizarre Foods. He is a happy go lucky turd eater who acts like everything he puts in his mouth is a scoop off an ice cream sundae. Such a liar. The first 10 episodes had him making that - just had some Duncan Hines - yummy face in every scene But he was eating the ass end of a dried tarantula on a stick.
The last few episodes Ive seen, however, it seems his producer told him to mix it up. He has now added yuck, gross, god-awful and putrude to his list of descriptions.
Here are some of the things Andrew Zimmern has eaten and given his gooey thumbs up to.
In Goa - Cow Urine Tonic (Okay, drink this if you want. Now go over to a cow and suck the urine directly out of his oily hog. See if that changes the yum quotient)
In Phuket - Fish Stomach Sauce (My favorite name of a city anywhere in the world. Fuck it!)
In Ethiopia - Raw Camel Kidneys with Berbere and Lemon Juice (The lemon juice ads great flavor to something that would otherwise just taste like, uh, Camel Kidney)
In Tanzania - Fresh Goat Blood (But I suppose human blood would be sick and off limits)
In Uganda - Giant Flying Ants (Because that is the kind of JUMBO you want)
In Hawaii - Roy Yamaguchis Homemade Natto - Tofu Skin with Hana Snails and Salmon Roe (Youve seen them in the garden and so many people consider it a delicacy. I say: Booger versus snail? Whats the difference?)
In Samoa - Giant Clam Sashimi (This I could get behind)
In Maine - Toasted Ears at Hugos (Huh? Who's ears?)
In Los Angeles - Wolfgang Pucks Hunan Style Rooster Balls (How about Wolfgang Pucks Nuts?)
In Iceland - Hakari, which is eight-week-old putrefied shark. (Wine, whiskey, cheese, and women. Those are four things I can except being old. Not fish of any kind.)
In Bolivia - Freeze dried rotten potatoes (Key word here is rotten)
In China - Donkey Skin (What a way to dominate a donkey. Make them carry your laundry across a desert and then eat the skin right off the fuckers back. Now THAT is a domination vacation!)
And me? The worst thing Ive ever eaten? Nothing too crazy. Probably ice fish sushi. I think thats what it was called. It was basically these translucent worms piled on top of a traditional seaweed and rice setup. The weirdest thing is that you could see some sort of eyes floating in their see-through bodies. And the taste? Little wet salty explosions in my mouth.