So I went to see RENT for the third time. I love that show. My parents didn't like it very much, but my brother did except for a few parts. I got dragged to the bar by my bestest friend in the whole world. Her sister (who I kinda dated briefly about 6 years ago) showed up along with a couple other people and we all drank and chatted. It seems all of my Saginaw friends (for the most part) are pro-war whereas all my Kalamazoo friends are pretty much anti-war. This morning I drove to Detroit and had a Big Boneyard Burger.....1 pound of 100% choice meat, fucking yum. I hung out with a couple friends of mine. One of them is from Flint. Apparently Flint is now ashamed that Michael Moore is from there. He has done so much for that city. He fucking speaks his mind and the whole city turns against him. She said that almost everyone she talked to in Flint is pro-war, I'm starting to wonder if maybe I just don't realize how many Kalamazoo people are....who knows. I worked tonight, not too bad, I got out a little early and made some decent tips.
And now the big news.....I will be single soon. I can't stay with this girl any longer. Here's why:
1. She is already talking about moving to California with me in August. If she and I were together for awhile it would be different, but we just fucking met little more than two weeks ago. She doesn't seem to realize that I am moving there partly just to get away from here. She said, "We'll have to come back every Christmas to spend it with my family, I love my family so much I can't imagine not seeing them." For me it's more like, when I'm gone, I am staying gone. I may come back once every five years or so, but it will not be an annual event.
2. She's already chosen the names of our kids. Again, if we had been together for awhile this would be ok, but we've only known each other for a fortnight or so.
3. She's already told me that she doesn't like the sound of my last name with her first name so I will have to take her last name. Have I mentioned we have only known each other for 2 weeks or so. I wouldn't have a problem changing my last name when I do eventually get married, just don't start fucking suggesting it until we actually fucking know each other.
4. She is completely irrational. On Tuesday I was talking to her before she came over here. I asked her if she was going to be upset if I shaved my head again without letting her do it. She said no. I actually did shave my head on Thursday without letting her do it and she was mad at me. Then there was the whole thing about her getting pissed off because she had a dream that I fucked her friend.
5. She hates all of my music, well most of it anyway. She hates most of the movies I love even without having seen them. She wants to burn all of my t-shirts and change my enitre wardrobe. I think she'd like to see my Chucks go too....
She needs to be out of my life....as if that wasn't enough there is more, but don't conitnue reading unless you want to hear something extremely personal. I just need to vent a little otherwise I wouldn't even be talking about this. If you don't want to know stop reading....consider yourself warned.
6. She went to the gynecologist on Thursday. They found a few warts, one on her cervix and two on her vagina. She has HPV, Human Papillo Virus (if I remember right), basically genital warts. This is incurable. I may have it now. She had never been diagnosed before, she thinks maybe she has had it for awhile and it just never showed up before. It isn't like she knew about it and then fucked me without telling me. I have to go get tested this week. There is a chance that maybe she got it from me, but considering that these have showed up within two weeks of us meeting I doubt it, but still possible. The virus is smaller than the pores in a condom, so it wouldn't have prevented it. Regardless, we did it without protection a couple times and she was on the receiving end of lots of oral sex. God how I fucking hope I don't have this. If I don't have it I do not fucking want it and I am too scared to have sex with her again because of that. If this was something that came up after we'd been together for a long time I would be willing to figure out how to get around it, but I have not invested a whole lot in this relationship and I am not risking getting an incurable disease for a girl I have only been with for two weeks. If I do already have it (whether it be from her or that I gave it to her) I still don't want to be with her, the first reasons are enough to make me want to run like hell, this one just adds to it. I need to go get tested this week, but my guess is that it is way too early for it to show up on a test, so I will be getting tested every couple weeks or once a month or so. I have a million six questions for the fucking doctor. I asked her, but she didn't seem to have questioned her doctor very well. I also am swearing off sex for a long time, at least 6 or 7 months depending on what the doctor says. Now that I know I could possibly be a carrier I don't want to risk giving it to anyone else. I just want to crawl into bed, bury myself under my covers and cry myself to sleep. I can't be pissed at her since she didn't know and like I said, there is an outside chance that she got it from me. I can only be pissed at myself for being so fucking careless. Well, I need to get some researching done and figure out what this little pathogen is like....thanks for listening, sorry this ended up being such a long fucking update.....
And now the big news.....I will be single soon. I can't stay with this girl any longer. Here's why:
1. She is already talking about moving to California with me in August. If she and I were together for awhile it would be different, but we just fucking met little more than two weeks ago. She doesn't seem to realize that I am moving there partly just to get away from here. She said, "We'll have to come back every Christmas to spend it with my family, I love my family so much I can't imagine not seeing them." For me it's more like, when I'm gone, I am staying gone. I may come back once every five years or so, but it will not be an annual event.
2. She's already chosen the names of our kids. Again, if we had been together for awhile this would be ok, but we've only known each other for a fortnight or so.
3. She's already told me that she doesn't like the sound of my last name with her first name so I will have to take her last name. Have I mentioned we have only known each other for 2 weeks or so. I wouldn't have a problem changing my last name when I do eventually get married, just don't start fucking suggesting it until we actually fucking know each other.
4. She is completely irrational. On Tuesday I was talking to her before she came over here. I asked her if she was going to be upset if I shaved my head again without letting her do it. She said no. I actually did shave my head on Thursday without letting her do it and she was mad at me. Then there was the whole thing about her getting pissed off because she had a dream that I fucked her friend.
5. She hates all of my music, well most of it anyway. She hates most of the movies I love even without having seen them. She wants to burn all of my t-shirts and change my enitre wardrobe. I think she'd like to see my Chucks go too....
She needs to be out of my life....as if that wasn't enough there is more, but don't conitnue reading unless you want to hear something extremely personal. I just need to vent a little otherwise I wouldn't even be talking about this. If you don't want to know stop reading....consider yourself warned.
6. She went to the gynecologist on Thursday. They found a few warts, one on her cervix and two on her vagina. She has HPV, Human Papillo Virus (if I remember right), basically genital warts. This is incurable. I may have it now. She had never been diagnosed before, she thinks maybe she has had it for awhile and it just never showed up before. It isn't like she knew about it and then fucked me without telling me. I have to go get tested this week. There is a chance that maybe she got it from me, but considering that these have showed up within two weeks of us meeting I doubt it, but still possible. The virus is smaller than the pores in a condom, so it wouldn't have prevented it. Regardless, we did it without protection a couple times and she was on the receiving end of lots of oral sex. God how I fucking hope I don't have this. If I don't have it I do not fucking want it and I am too scared to have sex with her again because of that. If this was something that came up after we'd been together for a long time I would be willing to figure out how to get around it, but I have not invested a whole lot in this relationship and I am not risking getting an incurable disease for a girl I have only been with for two weeks. If I do already have it (whether it be from her or that I gave it to her) I still don't want to be with her, the first reasons are enough to make me want to run like hell, this one just adds to it. I need to go get tested this week, but my guess is that it is way too early for it to show up on a test, so I will be getting tested every couple weeks or once a month or so. I have a million six questions for the fucking doctor. I asked her, but she didn't seem to have questioned her doctor very well. I also am swearing off sex for a long time, at least 6 or 7 months depending on what the doctor says. Now that I know I could possibly be a carrier I don't want to risk giving it to anyone else. I just want to crawl into bed, bury myself under my covers and cry myself to sleep. I can't be pissed at her since she didn't know and like I said, there is an outside chance that she got it from me. I can only be pissed at myself for being so fucking careless. Well, I need to get some researching done and figure out what this little pathogen is like....thanks for listening, sorry this ended up being such a long fucking update.....
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Good luck on the testing, let me know what happens...i hope you're okay. This is no comfort, but out of all the STDs out there, HPV is usually one of the least harmless, at least for men. For women it can be very scary because it gives you a risk for cervical cancer. But you can have HPV and never have a single wart for your entire life, and while you always have it, it's very treatable.
But here's hoping you don't have it at all.
And get away from her. She sounds WAY too needy. It's probably better for her that she doesn't attach to someone.
That's not even taking into account the "why are we even talking about marriage to begin with" part of the conversation.
So. I'm pulling for you, dude.