You know what the problem with whiskey is?
Actually, I don’t have a problem with whiskey. I don’t have a problem with tequila either. Nor craft brews, red wine, rum, gin, hard kombucha, or sangria.
I do, however, have a problem with vodka, seltzers, and most mass produced domestic beers in the US. This is, of course, not to suggest there is anything wrong with these beverages; this is simply addressing the fact that I, myself, am not personally a fan and generally tend to avoid these things whenever possible.
Which is always.
All the other things I do like, that I don’t have problem with? Quite enjoyable. Though they weren’t always. Once upon a time I checked myself into a substance abuse program to reduce the amount of trouble I found myself in, and I came to discover—via the sarcastic remarks of one rather gruff group counselor—that I did, indeed, have a problem that wasn’t going to just sort itself out.
Now, I’m not one to shy away from the work, so given that I had to spend time and energy in this program while I was enrolled, I opted to make the most of it. Group counseling? Awesome. Included one-on-one therapy? Sign me the fuck up. I wasn’t there to manage symptoms and develop better coping mechanisms. Nay, I was showing up to do the deep work, to understand why I felt the urge to drink so deeply, why I felt the need to escape reality as destructively as possible. I showed up to counseling. I never missed a therapy session. I spent a little over six months in that program showing up at least three times a week, doing my homework, and staying completely sober.
Well, I was sober for the requisite 90 days. But the interesting thing about my involvement and commitment to my own healing was that when I had my first beer after those 90 days, the one was all I needed. What once was a tool for escape became just another means of momentary pleasure. By the time I graduated the program, I was no longer the substance abuser I was when I walked in. Prior to enrolling in the program, I was constantly going out and getting hammered, spending most nights quietly drinking and most weekends just getting absolutely sloshed. Coming out on the other side of the program was a completely different story. I don’t get drunk much at all anymore. In fact, at most, I may feel a happy buzz, but by then, I’m already done drinking. I even make better decisions with regard to being even slightly inebriated: walking is great, Über is great, getting home safely without the threat of being arrested or potentially hurting someone else is great.
I no longer have mornings filled with deep regret because of how I may have acted out of belligerence the night before. There’s no more belligerence. The only thing I ever have to feel bad about is how much I spend, and it’s not even that bad, because if you frequent breweries, you know one or two beers is not going to break the bank.
I write this after having a few swigs of Jameson, chased with some Virgil’s root beer, in the comfort of my own home, before I hunker down to play Fallout for a bit before going to bed. Generally clearheaded, not buzzed, but having imbibed whiskey, certainly not sober. It’s a relaxing night, and I love myself enough to not want to run away from my life, to not want to hide at the bottom of a bottle. I know how fortunate I am; I’ve sat in meetings and heard of the worst that comes of the deepest levels of addiction. I celebrate my good fortune by being fully present in my existence every day. While I don’t live the perfect life, I have so much to be grateful for.
And the booze? Well, I do enjoy a head change from time to time.
Anyway, here’s a graphic I did of @rapunzeel from her set Help Me With Lunch?. I like the direction the style of these posters are going. I’m still playing with blending modes and transparency in Procreate. I’m curious to see how these designs continue to evolve.
