nonresponsive

Carolyn wants me to move to Ohio with her and Brad. I'm debating it in my brain. Weighing the pros and cons.
I miss Stephen. I hate to say this, but I do. If I move her that means no more seeing him in person for long periods of time. This saddens me. (I think I just made up spelling for that word) I piss myself off. I shouldn't have anything to do with the boy. There's just something about him.....
I have no clue where Macs is. Right now I just don't really care. As bad as that sounds. I should have never done that moving to Fayetteville shit. I knew it was a bad idea and now I feel somewhat stuck there. I mean damn why the fuck did I think that I could get along with Macs after he said that shit about me being an emtionless leech and sucking life out of Stephen, when it's really the other way around. I remember what he said that night sometimes when I ride in the car with him or am aorund him. And it just makes me want to kick the ever living dog shit out of him. Same thing goes for Stephen.
But anyways, I don't want to remember that shit. I have other things to think about right now. I love Carolyn with all my heart. She's the only one that can make me stable. And this time I'm not lying to anyone esp myself. I tend to lie to myself a lot more than I lie to other people. Which is worse than lying to other people in ways. Damn I ramble.