nonlocal

Sometimes I think the best is behind me now.

I've done that a lot...wasted a whole fucking lot of time being depressed and not doing a damn thing.

Then I get bored and do something. The thing that's fucking with me now is that the last thing was so successful I keep thinking I have to exceed it.

That's not necessarily true.

It's kind of like looking for love or not looking. I've always found it when I wasn't looking for it...just living my life and enjoying it alone. When I look, I think maybe my hungry eyes are off putting. When I don't look, I'm really charming.

Probably success is the same thing. Look for the big time and miss the little triumphs that make life worth it.

This crisis will probably work out well in the end.

Or I'll win the lottery and be totally fucked up.