you know I wonder if there will ever be a way to explain how I feel...I'm not even surtean I understand it so how can I express it...I do know this I am depressed....I am stress....and life does suck...I don't know what it is about the world but its happening again...I'm starting to feel more and more alien...I'm not sure what to do with my slef half the time and the other half I'm sleeping....I want to be alone but I hate being alone.....I wasn't minding the deprestion and meloncoly all the time but now its making me feel really unsetaled....sometimes I feel I'm in the wrong world at the wrong time without the right friends....or like something is missing....I have no real problem with where I am or who's around its just like I feel as though I belong in a life different then the one I have now...dosen't mean they came with me its just I used to see my self being someone and someplace different then where I am...I alwas thought it was going to change huge after high school but now I just feel like the walls of time are closing in....I was sapost to have freedom by now but I don't....all I have is a fear that I'm alwas going to be who I am now and not who I want to be......I think if I don't do something fast to get my self on what I consiter the right foot then I'll lose all hope forever....this is not however me saying I don't like my friends/jodi or my job (which really I do hate)....I just want a life I don't have right now..some of those people can come but....!!!!! 
now I'm just getting angry because I'm depressed....I don't know how to say what I want and I don't know how to get what I want...I've lived my whole life with the short end...waiting for things to work out and when they start to look up like I've finaly made my break I find out I'm being played....I get walked over all the time....I just want the right kind of friends but if I try to make them....heaven forbid they my be female (some of them) its fround apone...I'm trapped in a box of time with a window that only shows my dream would and is locked....
Stabbing Westward - what do I have to do??
Gravity Kills - Guilty
now I'm just getting angry because I'm depressed....I don't know how to say what I want and I don't know how to get what I want...I've lived my whole life with the short end...waiting for things to work out and when they start to look up like I've finaly made my break I find out I'm being played....I get walked over all the time....I just want the right kind of friends but if I try to make them....heaven forbid they my be female (some of them) its fround apone...I'm trapped in a box of time with a window that only shows my dream would and is locked....
Stabbing Westward - what do I have to do??
Gravity Kills - Guilty
I'd like to tell you it passes, but it doesn't until you can learn to live with yourself.
Curi.