nonameninja

what is life for me?? well its quite sad...not spasifiic things just my life total...I'm stuck in this place right now between emotion between hormones between memorys...all I want to go is go back and relive the summers passed....I feel like now I'm only living a life withing for a past life...that I'm also not sure I even had...its like this. when I think about what I want and what I should do (something I think about a great deal these days as my girldfriend and I of 2 years just parted) I think I want crazy happy fast paced maddness without a care in the world I used to have...what I have now is nothing more then a only going workweek with little excitment and hope for anything...I'm so freaking depressed right now. I can't say what I want and I can't make my self happy. dose nothing ever work out for me?? I just need a girl I can talk to have feel that feeling for 1 second...that first feeling of when you relize you have a crush on them and all you want to to learn about that person and make them laugh and so on...but after that moments gone....I don't know maybe I'm just not doing it right. there are to many imperfections with my self to stay stable for more then that moment...I've decided in my recent mood change and freedom that its my new job to find something to hope for...before its to late...this is so depressing I think I'll go sleep for 113 hours again