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nonameninja

Eugene

Member Since 2004

Followers 40 Following 65

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Sunday May 10, 2009

May 10, 2009
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I think when my account runs out I'm going to just leave it at that. I have a really bad history with this site for some reason. when I start everything was all good I could keep a journal and it helped me clear my head. then my girlfriend at the time read it and got super pissed because she didn't like what she saw. I just wanted to clear my head by writing things down and getting over it. its my own fault for thinking the internet was a safe place to do that. after her and I broke up I still had that need to get things of my chest. I didn't care that nobody read what I had to say. I still had to say it.

well this "friend" got a hold of it and it became a big past time for her and the rest of the friends I had at the time to read through it all laugh and make jokes with each other. when that got boring they moved onto making little jokes in front of me. then one day I saw it still up on there computer and it all made since. it was so damaging to me at the time I was in shock. so I quit this site and never came back.

recently someone "renewed" my account for me and I figured aaahhh what the hell the ex girlfriend has moved on and I doubt shes interested in reading anything I say. my friends at the time all split when one of them ripped of thousands of dollars from us all and jumped state (good riddance). but now here I am again questioning my stupidity.

I'll I've done since I got back is hangout in groups and read through some topics here and there. not really much of anything. I say one thing in the car group in it explodes into a flame war full of a bunch of people that haven't a clue what there talking about so I look like an asshole. cause there here to look at boobs with tattoos on them and don't know the first thing about car discussion . so after that I got really upset.

I then posted something else in a different group and its not even up a full 15 min before I started getting pointed out and treated like shit. it just got a lot worse after that.

I have no friends here I can't make any. I'm not trying to get laid like a lot of other people here. nobody wants to hear what I have to say. I guess its not a hard decision to make. all my life I've been out of place and never able to keep friends very long before they just move on. every job I've ever had I've been treated like lower then trash and just about everyone leaves a huge mark before leaving me out by my self (family included).

I've always sought a place where I could fit in but I'm consistently outcast even but outcasts. nobody understands what that feels like. the more I try to put my foot in the game of life the more I get stepped on and the further I have to hide my self. I'm not cool I have nothing to offer anyone but I honestly feel I've done nothing wrong. I'm really moral and honest and fair and can hold a bit of a grudge but I always forgive eventually. I just don't get this world and am sure I never will.

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