ok so thursday right....I woke up at about 4/5pm ish and had to be in bed by 12/1am ish...such a short day but man did it suck...bad times with the ex....after about an hour of fighting I really though we had something...like maybe we where going to get a little better and I would think it was a good idea to be talking to her....then she gets up to go to the bathroom......comes out sucking her rist....shes an avit cutter and I quikly put 2 and 2 togeather.....needless to say this did not make me happy....when it was all over (because of this action) it was desided that her and I being in the same room was not safe for her.....and that is that...I can't speek to her again...not that I wanted to before tonight...but I thought things where going to be ok......the only reason I've managed to go to sleep after 6 hours of awakeness is because after she left...things went way way bad for me....I started getting very sick....and very depressed.....I now feel like I'm dieing and though my friends wanted to see me I told them to fuck off...I don't want anyone around me ever again....tomarrow (friday) I have to work very early in the morning then I am headed into eugene by my self (on foot) to do some shopping and anything I can think of that might make me feel batter...the odds of me being done in time to get on a bus back arn't very good so I'll eather stay with my mom or walk...who knows it might on;y be about 22 miles in the rain...lots of time to think....and get hit by a car
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