so where do I begain?? I wasn't going to do this because of eyes that mights see it and think it to piss them off...well fuck it who cares I need this for me...I never show emotion so...like I said fuck it
self worth: how am I sapost to feel good about my self when a to year relations ends with he leaving me for someone else..agian ( time # 5 by my count) like makes you fell like your nothing but a "warm body" between other things...
love: I hate this word don't use it and don't beleave in it...how can someone say they love you then4 days later are on to the next thing like you where never there..
lonlyness: i know this one all to well I have 80% in a relation ship and the other person was willing to give 10% how are you sapost to fix a problem when they don't want to talk...I guess asking everyday "whats wrong??" just isn't enough...need to be a mind reader ( I won't do that) so now I am lonly and on my own...
nothingness: having nothing and no one don't give you much hope to get out of bed everyday...so now I lay back and think about everything...and just hurt...no one understands even 20% of who I am and no one will....I'll never give that much again...
pain: everything in my life comes back to my first relationship...she was very abusive in every way (sexualy, physicly, and mentaly) with such a history everyday is had and what is "no big deal" to most is hell for me....though nothing can hurt as much as that relationship did everyone sence has done more and more damage...
future: I will alwas be broken...nothinhg can fix that..the only thing that happens is I get broken a little more everytime...this one was a major one...
life: I don't have one and don't want this mild attempt...I'm sick of it...
past: I want things I had once a long time ago (adulecnce) the life I once led the friends I once had and the feel of it all...but mostly I wish I had that time for the fact I was less broken.....
intention: I didn't intend this to be so long but now I won't shut up..funny how that happens you spend your whole life locking people out and then when you talk to your self your sick of it.....
truth: I am not the only guilt one and I know that...I've done a lot of shit and desurve more...don't confuse this with an attempt at making my life better....
the world: I don't care about whats out there and the "big picture" I just want my own little world to my self where no one is invited and trespassers will be shot on sight....
on a side note lets here it for on the job injury....
memory: I had that everything reminds me of eather a time less painful or just all out pain
fuck this: and finaly fuck this...I'm done talking...to my hole with me!!! so you all when I come out of my shell....lol jk thats not happening
limp bisket - my way (this song has a big history with me and my past..it finaly got me out of that hell hole abusive relationsship....thing touches me like music.....so atleast I will alwas have that...untell I go def)
self worth: how am I sapost to feel good about my self when a to year relations ends with he leaving me for someone else..agian ( time # 5 by my count) like makes you fell like your nothing but a "warm body" between other things...
love: I hate this word don't use it and don't beleave in it...how can someone say they love you then4 days later are on to the next thing like you where never there..
lonlyness: i know this one all to well I have 80% in a relation ship and the other person was willing to give 10% how are you sapost to fix a problem when they don't want to talk...I guess asking everyday "whats wrong??" just isn't enough...need to be a mind reader ( I won't do that) so now I am lonly and on my own...
nothingness: having nothing and no one don't give you much hope to get out of bed everyday...so now I lay back and think about everything...and just hurt...no one understands even 20% of who I am and no one will....I'll never give that much again...
pain: everything in my life comes back to my first relationship...she was very abusive in every way (sexualy, physicly, and mentaly) with such a history everyday is had and what is "no big deal" to most is hell for me....though nothing can hurt as much as that relationship did everyone sence has done more and more damage...
future: I will alwas be broken...nothinhg can fix that..the only thing that happens is I get broken a little more everytime...this one was a major one...
life: I don't have one and don't want this mild attempt...I'm sick of it...
past: I want things I had once a long time ago (adulecnce) the life I once led the friends I once had and the feel of it all...but mostly I wish I had that time for the fact I was less broken.....
intention: I didn't intend this to be so long but now I won't shut up..funny how that happens you spend your whole life locking people out and then when you talk to your self your sick of it.....
truth: I am not the only guilt one and I know that...I've done a lot of shit and desurve more...don't confuse this with an attempt at making my life better....
the world: I don't care about whats out there and the "big picture" I just want my own little world to my self where no one is invited and trespassers will be shot on sight....
on a side note lets here it for on the job injury....
memory: I had that everything reminds me of eather a time less painful or just all out pain
fuck this: and finaly fuck this...I'm done talking...to my hole with me!!! so you all when I come out of my shell....lol jk thats not happening
limp bisket - my way (this song has a big history with me and my past..it finaly got me out of that hell hole abusive relationsship....thing touches me like music.....so atleast I will alwas have that...untell I go def)