nolan_void

You're back! Yeah I look so happy in my pic because I discovered the lost magical wond haha.

Seeking is much the same as forcing energy out. There is an outflow of awareness that inhibits the inflow of anything meaningful. The seeker always feels that emptiness until he frees his mind from the want and allows the rest of reality to flow into him unimpeded...

Hey!
You're back.
Sweet.

That is a pretty sweet dream.
I never have dreams like that.
Mine always make much less sense.
Than Scooby trying to kill Brainiac.
Hmmm...

Hey, WTF here....

Good to see you are back and alive. You ahve been missed. Hope you are lifted soon.

"Well, after the 30th I won't be around for a while. I cancelled my account today, because I don't want to pay for the three months away from school when I won't have computer access. Hopefully, I will be back in the fall."

Yes, I hope so too! I def. miss your insightfulness in my world and yours.

"I'm trying to find a place to stay this summer. I've already got a paid internship at this homeless shelter, and I'm looking for another job. A good friend of mine doesn't want to have to go home for the summer, so she and I are looking for an apartment, but we've only got a couple of weeks. I think I'm finally getting used to never knowing where the fuck I'm going or what I'm doing. Everything is much more suspenseful this way. In the past it always bummed me out and I would always get really down this time of year, despite that summer is without a doubt my favorite season. Now it's kind of exciting."

Good luck, I really wish you had access SOMEWHERE, anywhere. It sounds like your life is about to become very interesting. Wish we could come along. I used to have a 'Plan A' and then a 'Plan B' just in case. Now it's better to just go with it I find, create.

"I think I'm becoming a masochist. I've acquired so many injuries this past week, and my body hurts all over, but the funny thing is that I'm starting to like it. Sometimes I think you never feel so alive as when you are in pain. So far I've slammed my thumb in a car door, banged my shin and forearm falling out of a tree, stepped on an old board covered in nails, and consequently had to go get a tetanus shot which is now also causing a good deal of soreness in my arm. When we are just walking around all healthy and feeling well, we take our bodies for granted. When you hurt, you can feel everything a little more acutely."

I was just driving the other day thinking how good I felt. Alive and well. Mostly because I haven't always felt well, and I run into people that aren't well. That are old, have cancer are sick. So I feel good, for one second, because I am alive and nothing hurts. Not a hangnail.

"The situation with the girl is still up in the air. I've just been trying to keep hanging out with her and enjoy it for what it is, but I think we are getting closer again. I've been careful not to dwell on things or allow myself to get wrapped up in them, trying to keep my intentions good and my vision diamondlike. It's still difficult, but I kind of like walking the edge of the blade separating maddening passion and dejected distance. It keeps me on my toes, and I'll be quicker and wiser for it when it is all said and done."

Don't you wish you could videotape yourself and review 5, 10 or even 20 years in the future? Would you want to and what relationship mistakes do you think we'll have learned from by then? Looking back years I'd like to think I have learned something which means in the future I'll be able to look to now making mistakes right, how?

Just had to make sure you saw Cho's work on Shanna for Marvel. You'll be missed around here while you're gone. I've been thinking about leaving too for a while. Money's been tight...

Don't force anything. Just let it be. Take opportunities as they come.

I've said that to myself so many times, and yet, I haven't found that other way. I've tried to consider what good was going to come for me for the way I've felt, but I've come up as empty as I feel anyway.

wierd dude.

i broke up with my girl that samenight.
though, im the one afraid of the stable relationship.

go figure.

good luck.

i cant until i graduate.

ty, ty..how are things going?

And then Micheal J Fox makes a guest appearence hehe.
Aww hope things go well with your girl.

Isn't it nice having someone to distract like that...? It's nice being distracted sometimes too... Gosh that movie is terrible.

Go with the flow

I know we haven't talked much lately. I like to think the biggest reason for that is a conflict in schedules, a difference in priorities and agendas and Important Places to Be. Maybe that isn't all. If it is or if it isn't, I hope you know I'm still always ready to listen if you need it-- about anything, any time. I know it doesn't always help. I know I can't do anything else. But if you need an ear, I've got two.

The glory days of Spring shouldn't be spent in despair.

[Edited on Apr 06, 2005 1:38PM]

And to think you had the whole love/woman thing worrying you.

It only gets better from here doesn't it?

I hooked up with this girl once after knowing her for 4 years. Always worth the wait... It's defininetly a worthy trade-off.