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nolan_void

Splitsville, daddio

Member Since 2004

Followers 22 Following 38

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Thursday Sep 29, 2005

Sep 29, 2005
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I started reading Fight Club again today. I think I just needed to remind myself that I'm not the only person in the world that feels that way.

I came to a realization linked to why I have been feeling so crazy lately. I was talking to a friend and things just started to come together, starting pouring spontaneously out of my head. There is a lot of monotony in day to day life, which can be maddening, but underneath all of that what I feel like I'm missing is real interaction with people. There are a lot of hellos, and how are you doings, and phatic small talk, but there isn't a whole lot of real conversation or interaction between the people I see on a regular basis. A lot of people hide it inside, behind these shrouds they use to keep others from seeing who they really are, because they are embarrassed or ashamed or because they are shy and they don't think anyone wants to know how their day is really going. That's the stuff that I want to know. That's the side of people that I want to see, not all of the face saving and small talking. It makes me feel so distant from everyone.
fukidunno:
Sometimes people cry at my desk and hug me when they leave. My coworkers joke that I sell cars to "family members". It pisses me off but I have interactions with people and it means something to me. Who knows if it will actually pay down the road, maybe it will save my soul or balance it out being in this business and all. I go in my head so much I hear "blonde" and "from Neptune" but I'm just trying to absorb everyone at once not just my own perspective, let alone do my. Whatever whatever Not like any other job I've ever had and every day/person/deal is different. Very odd.

Where do you think you can find these interactions that you so need? Kinda like Kids eating chalk and dirt because they are vitamin deficient. You will get what you need eventually but can you visualize an environment now?
Sep 29, 2005
kundalini:
That's the only book I know, which somehow, is not nearly as good as the movie.

Most of those people have nothing going on behind their shrouds that is worth peeking at.
It's so odd what our mind manufactures when it is missing something.

I love alliteration. Spontaneous Assonance also.
Sep 30, 2005

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