Over the last couple of days my everlasting search for meaning seems to be coming up dry. It is very difficult to try and trudge forward when you start to question whether or not all the things that used to drive you forward even exist anymore. Faith flickers inside of me though. Somehow there are some things that I simply cannot dismiss, despite my inability to express them to myself in words.
For most of my life the world outside of me has been unstable and untrustworthy, but I have been able to get through it because I have been grounded on the inside. Now that my inner foundations have come into question in ways that I can't answer them, I feel adrift. I don't know if I can believe in love, and without love I am not sure that I have a purpose, and without purpose any human being is doomed. But then again, when I take the Eastern way out and just shut all this mind babble up, it doesn't all seem so bad. One way or another things are about to change.
I feel as if I am standing on the beach and the tide has gone out, so far out that it is impossible to deny that something big is on its way.
For most of my life the world outside of me has been unstable and untrustworthy, but I have been able to get through it because I have been grounded on the inside. Now that my inner foundations have come into question in ways that I can't answer them, I feel adrift. I don't know if I can believe in love, and without love I am not sure that I have a purpose, and without purpose any human being is doomed. But then again, when I take the Eastern way out and just shut all this mind babble up, it doesn't all seem so bad. One way or another things are about to change.
I feel as if I am standing on the beach and the tide has gone out, so far out that it is impossible to deny that something big is on its way.
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holy_mountain:
The things that used to drive do not at all anymore too. It seems like the meaning of life is constantly changing.
kundalini:
I used to believe that there was a constant ebb and flow, that that which is drawn out would inevitably return, but I cannot believe that anymore. I look into the future and see only loss and conflict. I find myself trying to shut it out, only to become more isolated and disconnected. Where is the happy medium...? 