Today at work really haunting images started coming into my head as I typed. The first one was because my hands were going so fast that I imagined they might keep going after the rest of my body had died off. Everything in these visions was dark, with flickering light as if from a monitor, and dreamlike. I've been wanting to write a story about the dreamscape for a long time now...But I find it hard to write dreams because they are on a different level than conscious thought. Sometimes when I dream it is as if I have no concept of identity, of who my waking self is. There is just something happening, and something I need to do, as if I am a divine force incarnating into a realm to serve some purpose (usually saving someone or fighting off some inexplicable horror). Even though these dreams are usually terrifying, I get a sense of satisfaction from having such a devoted and present state of being in them, without all the noise of my mind clouding my sense of purpose. When I dream, I don't think about what is going to happen when I wake up. I don't worry about bills getting paid, or school starting back, or a lot of other things. I'm very present in the moment. For instance, I'm a situation where some awful Lovecraftian creature is hunting me and/or someone I love down, and all I think about is how to get away or how to stop it. Even though it is in a dream, I can see how the presence of mind is the awakening of a very powerful force of change, giving us more control over the immediacy of our lives.
angel:
...thank you. 