nolan_void

Cause it's time to bring the fire down
Bridle all this indiscretion
Long enough to edify
And permanently fill this hollow



In order to swim up from the cold dark depths, we must first surpass the Leviathan. Jormungandr has so many wrapped in his coils, but to free yourself from the earthly bondage that likens you to serpents is the goal, so that you may know true peace and freedom. First we swim the depths, then we crawl onto land on our bellies, and some will live and die like this. But others will climb the trees, reaching for higher aspirations, and others still will master flight.

So far I've allowed the midgard serpent to bite me many a time, and my head still swims with his venom. Today I remembered how she called me a coward, and how she was right, and how that scar is ever branded upon me, even by those who cannot see it. It blazes on my soul. My mind, my thinking, has become severely warped. Long ago it was clearer, and I would not have given any idea to a god, much less one who punishes. Now I find myself musing on how Hell is a place where one puts one's self, how we play this role of a god, to punish ourselves for wrongs we cannot forgive. The sickest part of it is that I feel that I deserve it, and I get some sort of sense of pride out of feeling tormented, because part of me undeniably feels that the torment is warranted. I can see these perversions of the spirit swirling before me like oily iridescence on what should be a virgin pool, sprung up from the Source.

But perhaps childe Nolan, you are too severe in the judgement (yes, the british kind) that you have cast upon yourself. And it is entirely probable that much of your afflictions come from the affecting environment, for you see all around you damnable and excluding marriage. Marriage, marriage, as far as the eye can see, and not a drop from lips to drink. And oh, how at times you wish that lightning would strike your fellow man, electric swords cleansing them from the mortal coil, but you know too that this is the Hollow speaking. The deaths of your rivals have nothing to do with what you really want. You know that. You know that satisfaction would still prove elusive, that such victory would spoil one way or another. How did you find yourself so lost? Where is the light that leads up from the shadows of the lower caves? For now, that light is veiled, but it may return again.

And if I can see it, I can follow it, and climb up and maybe find the light of the holy dawn again, somewhere where there is no such thing as the past.