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nolan_void

Splitsville, daddio

Member Since 2004

Followers 22 Following 38

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Thursday Feb 09, 2006

Feb 9, 2006
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Today I had an idea. I have lots of pictures and art on my walls, many of them of Suicide Girls. While I find great aesthetic delight in these pictures, I have decided that I would get even more delight from art of my own design. So I am setting a schedule for myself, and once a week I will replace something on my wall with a piece of my own artwork. I suppose I should start this project fresh, at the beginning of next week. That's going to be a tough week, because I'm also going to be reimplementing my self-imposed exercise program as well. Oh well, whatever doesn't kill me will elevate me above the rest of the lazy, quasi-literate masses.

I am currently at a point where I feel independent of the need to meet, mate, and procreate. As with all things, I am aware that this state is subject to change, possibly if the right person comes along, but the desire to search out and find this kind of person has given way to the more immediate need to deepen my own personality. I guess a part of me realizes how novel and fun it would be to have a loving relationship with a woman, but through all of my experiences I have come to feel that relationships are just not worth it unless you are head-over-fucking-heels for somebody. I am in doubt that I will meet someone in my current setting who can fulfill that need for me, and vice versa.

I have also come to realize that I have not even had the time to be in despair over anything, due to the willfulness that has taken hold of my thinking. At times people can be in a state where their will is not present in their thoughts. The contents of their mind is as a car without a driver, or perhaps a better analogy is that people listen to a radio recording of their memories that bombard them as commercials might, and then assume those memory-commercials are who they are. If it all possible, I would advise everyone to cultivate their will, that is their conscious and active mode of thinking. Grab ahold of the steering will and make the vehicle go where you want it to. There is nothing wrong with thinking often as long as you are actively engaged in thinking, and not passively allowing the thinking to control your life. The thinking is mechanical, but you are a fluid and imaginative force capable of mastering your own destiny. Do not confuse the two. Making the distinction will surely lead you to be more fulfilled in all you do.

I found this hilariously misogynistic quote from a Dungeons and Dragons player on a link from the PnP Roleplaying group and couldn't resist adding it to my post:


Deviant Boy: "I will be playing a female character and like all women she is a chaotic evil thief."

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
bella_silencia:
Ha. Funny, I think of the maturity you described as just common sense... Either way, you'll find someone with the level of maturity that you speak of soon enough. Just hang in there, kid wink
Feb 10, 2006
darlinginvalid:
Haha. Actually, Im supposed to start a new excercise routine this week too. Mine is less self imposed and more forced by my neighbor. But it will be good for me, because by "new excercie routine" i mean FIRST EVER excercise routine. puke I hate physical exertion unless its dancing or sex.

This will be interesting.

blackeyed <( me after routine starts)
Feb 10, 2006

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